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Evolution Ezine’s Writers’ Workshop: Using Story Writing to Activate the Power of Forgiveness

Welcome to the Evolution Ezine Writer’s Workshop, Volume 2. In our previous workshop, Cyndi promised to give a complete copy of the “Free From Fear” program to one randomly chosen person who commented and shared a story. Congratulations to Sheila Curtis ~ Cyndi will be in touch with you directly to give you your prize.

Also, I’ve talked with Cyndi and this week we’re going to be giving away ANOTHER prize to whoever shares a story, so keep reading for details on that. :)

As for this week, let’s talk about something that we all could use a little help with: Forgiveness. We all have traumas from our past, anger or guilt about what others did to us, about what we did to others, and about what we did to ourselves. These experiences come from those we love, as well as acquaintances and total strangers. And more often than not, we hold onto the pain and are unable to forgive, and that is one of the biggest reasons why we are unable to experience the kinds of purposeful and conscious relationships our hearts yearn for.

Being unable to forgive doesn’t feel very empowering, and it causes us to make excuses why we shouldn’t try again. We sometimes let go of our hopes and dreams. The thing is, when you understand the story behind all of these feelings and experiences, you learn an invaluable secret:

It’s not your fault.

In fact, it’s not anybody’s fault. It’s just one more story, and it’s the hardest thing for most people to change. When we truly understand this, we’re able to transform these old stories of pain and frustration into empowerment. The first thing to understand is why people hurt us.

I believe that people are innately well-intentioned, and that our experiences and conditioning cause us to believe otherwise. I know that I’ve hurt people in the past, and it wasn’t because I was a bad person. I was just in pain. I had been rejected and ostracized for so many years that I lashed out at people. I was protecting myself from more pain and unconsciously I believed that if I pushed enough people away, they wouldn’t be able to hurt me anymore.

The problem is, because I pushed people away I made it impossible to have the very thing I wanted: a deeply fulfilling and connected relationship. It would be easy to blame my peers for all their unkind words and actions, and most people would think I was justified in blaming them.

But is it really their fault?

I don’t believe it is. After all, if I was a good person who lashed out in pain, is it possible that they were merely doing the same thing to me? Perhaps they came from an abusive home, or they were also rejected? Perhaps they pushed me away to protect themselves the same way I did it to protect myself.

In this expanded view, we begin to see that for every person who hurts us, they have a story behind their own pain… a story about why they hurt us (intentionally or not). We then see their story usually involves somebody who hurt them, which is yet another story. In fact, the cycle goes on for generations, and this is why we notice that many families seem to have similar emotional or psychological patterns within them.

Now think about this in your own life…

Have you hurt other people?

Do you consider yourself a generally well-intentioned person?

I believe the answer to both questions is probably ‘Yes.’ So if even we have hurt others, maybe what others have done to us is just another story. Maybe we’re all characters living this life story, and some of us get hurt by other characters, and we in turn may hurt people as well. It doesn’t make us bad people, just people in pain (the same as the people who hurt us).

In my own explorations of forgiveness, what I realized is that that people didn’t necessarily want to hurt me, but rather, they just had pain inside they didn’t know what to do with. They had a story they were “taking out on me,” and it really had nothing to do with me. That helped me see that my inability to forgive had nothing to do with them, but rather, with my ideas of them. I had trouble forgiving because I expected somebody to be a certain way, and they weren’t able to live up to that expectation.

This awareness helped me realize that forgiveness was not something I gave to somebody else; it was something I gave to myself. I had to forgive myself for every time I “let” somebody else hurt me. I had to forgive myself for letting go of my hopes and dreams while I unconsciously protected myself from more pain. I had to forgive myself for hurting others, just the way I had been hurt. And I had to forgive myself for believing the stories I told myself, like that I was a victim who didn’t deserve a conscious loving relationship.

Over time, as I began to just see all these interactions as stories, I learned how to look more objectively at other peoples? actions. Instead of seeing them subjectively as bad or mean, I became curious. I progressively changed my thoughts from “That person is so mean!” to “I wonder why that person might have done that. Is it possible that he’s having a bad day and it has nothing to do with me?”

This more objective viewpoint fostered a greater sense of compassion for myself and others, and it was that compassion and objectivity that objectivity enabled me to transform my painful stories into personal empowerment. I’ve found that I enjoy my relationships with others more, and even with people close to me who have hurt me.

A Writing Exercise For Forgiveness

Now continuing with this idea of objectivity, if you’re having difficulty forgiving somebody then I have a writing exercise that may help you. Just ask yourself, “If somebody like me were able to forgive the person who hurt him/her, what would that look like? How might it be possible?” Then write whatever comes to you.

This is just for you, so you don’t need to think much about it. It doesn’t need to be perfect. Just write from your heart and see what possibilities you discover. This gives you the opportunity to experience that objectivity I mentioned; to write the story as just a story and nothing more.

This doesn’t mean you’re forgiving the other person, or even saying you’re ready to forgive. The purpose of this writing exercise is only to explore the possibility that somebody, somewhere, might be able to forgive in a similar situation.

And, just like last week, Cyndi has agreed to GIVE AWAY a special prize to participants in this Writer’s Workshop! The prize this week is The Mini Super Mind Evolution System, and all you have to do to be entered to win is to share your story in the comments section below.

Note: If you want a chance to win the prize, and don’t want to share your name that’s okay. As long as your email address is correct (so that Cyndi can contact you with your prize), feel free to just post your name publicly as “Anonymous.”

And while I hope you’ll share your story publicly (even if anonymously), you can still win a prize just by writing your story and sending it by email to cyndi@evolutionezine.com

Before the next Writer’s Workshop, Cyndi will give away A Mini Super Mind Evolution System to at least one person at random from everybody who shared their story.

I look forward to reading your stories, and I wish for you a wonderful day! :)

Your Partner In Transformation,
Chris Cade
Inscribe Your Life®

P.S. If you choose not to share your story publicly, please at least comment and share your experience with or thoughts on this edition of the workshop.

P.P.S. In case you missed the special gift from from me last time, here it is again:

My audio titled, “Think Without The Box®” It’s about 30 minutes long (you can also download the PDF transcript), and here’s just a little bit of what you’ll discover:

  • How to silence your inner critic
  • What it means to “Think Without the Box®” (not just outside of it)
  • How to understand and changing unwanted habits
  • And more…

Click Here Now And Get Your Audio

For now, I just want to wish you a wonderful day and let you know that I look forward to reading your stories!

—————————————————-

Evolution Ezine may receive a commission if you buy through one of the links – these proceeds help keep the Evolution Ezine free.  Thanks for your continued support.

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15 Responses to “Evolution Ezine’s Writers’ Workshop: Using Story Writing to Activate the Power of Forgiveness”

  1. Anonymous says:

    “If somebody like me were able to forgive the person who hurt him/her, what would that look like? How might it be possible?”

    If someone like me were able to forgive the person who hurt them, it would look like this, (and this is a true story):

    I have had a family member hurt me deeply as a child because they were a bully. Somehow there was grace that let me know that this person was hurt himself, and that I felt sad about that. It still hurt, but I had a soft place in my heart that could feel his pain. At first I hardly understood this, but my awareness grew with time. My soft spot became more clear and I slowly got up the energy to forgive. It meant forgiving again each time the person hurt me again, but I got better at it. Slowly I grew in strength, and also in determination not to let my pain be what was in front. With patience and practice, I became good at forgiving, but it took practice. After years, I don’t freak out when I have something happen to me that isn’t good. I know that I can overcome it with compassion, and that I will have strength to let the insult or whatever go, and use compassion for the other person to fill my gap.

    Practice was my key. Practice wearing my coat inside out – with the warm fuzzy on the outside for others, a compassion coat.
    Coat is just as warm for me in the end – even better than before.

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  2. Annie Stith says:

    Hey Chris & Cyndi!

    “If somebody like me were able to forgive the person who hurt him/her, what would that look like? How might it be possible?”

    Wow. Kinda hard to wrap my brain around something that feels so big, y’know?

    My worst hurts and wounds and scars are from my father’s abusing and brainwashing me and torturing me when I was very young.

    “Someone like me.” That’s not as easy as it looks because there are many parts to Who I Really Am. Part of me firmly believes everything written in the article. But another part of me finds it so hard to forgive this one person, especially as he’s not owned what he did nor asked for forgiveness. I know that I’m the one who benefits most when I forgive because I’ve been through it with others.

    I know what it is that shaped the man: his very sick family going back generations, the ultra conservative religion he grew up in somehow getting twisted with the abuse in his head, and the power trip of getting away with it for so long (I was not the first).

    Can I feel compassion for my father in light of that info? Partly. I do well with his character being shaped by things outside of his control. His getting off on the power? Much harder.

    So, I guess what it would look like if a person like me were to forgive a person like my father is that this other person would have a limitless heart filled with compassion for all living beings.

    Me? I’m still working on it.

    Annie

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  3. Mickey Thomas says:

    The Grassy Swell

    The marine was unaware of the danger ahead. He was the point man for his platoon but he was following two Kit Carson scouts who were relied upon to see the danger before him. As they followed the path it made a sharp turn to the left and opened up to a dry rice paddy area. But the dirt path disappeared through a grassy swell and reappeared on the other side, a warning that was perceived by the scouts because they split and each one walked along the outer edge. The marine did not notice and walked into the middle of the grassy swell hitting a bobby trap within his first or second step.

    I do not know if the marine survived that morning because two more explosions were heard as other marines tried to rescue him and get him into a medi-vac helicopter. He could survive one blast which would have taken a foot or a leg; but to survive two more blasts while lying on the ground immediately next to the explosion would be a miracle. How many other’s were wounded? Could they have survived the third blast?

    I have had these questions and night mares for forty years. I could have stopped this from happening but was ignored by my staff segeant when told the area was full of bobby traps. Just two days before this, I was the point man for a squad of marines trying to over take a group of Viet Cong reported to be crossing the river near by. Coming from the opposite direction there were signs everywhere warning the local villagers that a booby trap area was near. As I followed the dirt path it was obvious to me where the booby traps were as I approached the grassy swell. The dirt path stopped as if someone had just layed sod containing grasses and weeds of various sizes. It looked natural but was out of place. I chose to walk along the right edge and instructed each marine behind me to step where I stepped. I took a deep breath and took one step at a time trying to look for anything out of the ordinary. I made it across and the next marine followed and made it through. As I continued on the path and turned the corner I set my attention on the area ahead looking for any signs of the enemy. I had not gone far when the stillness was broken by an explosion behind me. A large cloud of dirt and smoke rose up from the grassy swell as I ran back to see what had happened.

    Four marines had crossed but the fifth marine decided to make a side step to look at something. The explosion tore off part of his foot and shrapnel exploded up through his groin. I told two of the marines to get back across the swell as myself and another marine tried to determine how to get this man out to treat his wounds and wait for the medi-vac. Somehow we were able to get him up and carried out to safety. With our location exposed by the explosion we turned back from our mission.

    This was the knowledge I had of the grassy swell and warned the staff we could not let the marines coming from the opposite direction cross this area. I have tried to forgive myself for not being insubordinate and taking action. I have tried forgiving the staff. But what about the other marines who were wounded or possibly even killed. They don’t even know they have someone to forgive and would they if they knew. Could I face a widow or parents and ask for forgiveness?

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  4. Bhaskar says:

    To Annie, I know what he did you to you is wrong. But if you can forgive and forget, then you are a stronger person and will be blessed in many, many ways. Just ask yourself, must the sins of the father visit themselves upon the son, or the daughter?? I’ve noticed, women who have had good relationships with their fathers make very loyal and loving wifes. So, even if you can’t forget, atleast see to it you don’t connect your partner to the smorgasbord of male crimes he had absolutely nothing to do with…

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  5. Anonymous says:

    I can understand on an intellectual level why you should forgive persons wh have hurt you. I can also forgive them on an intellectual level. But on an emotional level I cant or may never be able to forgive them.
    The pain and the wounds are too deep. The pain makes me depressed. When I feel the pain is it new, raw and fresh. Sometimes it leads to nightmares and anxiety.

    If I see the persons,- close relatives- in real life or on Tv or see pictures of one of them in the newspapers, I am a victim of the same nightmares and anxiety, even worse. Its like a trauma! This month I have even seen posters in the subway, etc. with one of my close relatives who has hurt me, – on. Sometimes I want to escape, to move abroad or move out in the country.

    The only thing for me to do, to ease the pain is to get unconditional love from my cats or to pray.
    Prayer takes away the pain and it gives you the strength to forgive yourself and others. Prayer gives you hope – you can leave everything – your worries, anger and guilt to God, the Universe – and trust that in the end justice will prevail. I firmly do believe that.

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  6. joy says:

    “Forgiving is the door for your own emotional freedom.”

    It is not possible if you are using your ego.
    The fact is,you are doing it in order to release yourself from being a victim or victimizer.

    Everyone of us was once been hurt by anybody or even by our ownselves.

    Can you spell G-U-I-L-T?

    If you know how to escape from that dominos’effect of guilt then learn to forgive.

    Nobody is perfect.
    Once upon a time i was a stupid careless young woman who made a lot of wrong decisions in life that made my life miserable because i did not consider patience,planning…and yeah,forgiveness.

    What i did one day was…
    I closed my eyes and in my mind,i had a conversation with myself.
    There i said that i was feeling sorry for the wronf thing i had done.
    That it was’nt that bad.
    That it is not too late for a new day…
    I said to myself that it is ok..everythings going to be alright.
    I visualized myself renewing my mind.
    Shining like a morning sun.
    and i said to myself.
    I like you and i believed in you.
    Everything will be alright.

    Since then,it radiates from the people i had encouter whenever they made offense on me.
    No matter how serious it is.

    I simply tell them.
    It is okay.I know you did’nt mean it.
    I believed that we could accept,forget and moved-on.
    I know you are not going to do this again.

    If they still don’t change.
    I just smile and said to myself.
    It takes time to accept and learn.

    It’s ok.
    With a smile :)

    Come on,Life is too short.
    Why not grab the positive and live your life in a better way.
    Thanks for reading.
    i

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  7. joy says:

    One more thing folks..
    Having that guilt and anger inside your heart has a bad effects for your health.

    Cancer.
    The serious disease because you are a too serious person.

    Be good to yourself.
    Having a dose of laughter and forgiveness will save you from heart disease.
    And you will live a happy and a little longer than those people who think like everybody was planning to steal,hurt,manipulate,take advantage of what they have.

    This is a sound advise.
    Open that door.
    Throw your Ego.
    Including your fear of being hurt.
    Forgive and forget.

    Have a nice day and cheers for a happy,forgiveful life!
    :)

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  8. Margot says:

    The very morning I had a real opportunity to leave my abuser for 17 years, after he had passed out after a 5 day cocaine binge. I woke up, grabbed the keys out of his pocket, and ran into the kitchen, like a chicken with its head cut off. I actually held freedom in my hands, the keys to open the inside locks to exit; he had changed the locks the last time I ran. He caught me on the stairs and dragged me by my hair back into the apartment, and threaten to sell our two children into prostitution, if I did that again.
    I heard chatter in my head to take one of the larger knives, and just go into the bedroom and slice his throat. Easy sweet and clean cut, allow the blood to flow on the blanket. I actually saw this in my mind, and thought what would be the repercussions. I would be arrested, I would be in prison, and my two children would never see me again, and I would never see them. It couldn’t ever be claimed as self defense because I just committed murder in my mind.
    I cried out to God, and knelt before the dining room window. Please forgive me father, I have committed murder and I felt a warm embrace from the spirit. It was as though Jesus was rocking me himself. I heard a voice loud and clear in my ear, you are forgiven my daughter now you must forgive your abuser. Tears rolled down my cheeks, till I could no longer see, I cried more at that time, than I did all the years of being beaten physically, emotionally and psychologically. I wanted freedom for me and my children, more than anything else in life. God reminded me it was 3:30 in the morning, and he was protecting me. He told me don’t wake the children he will take them to school, to keep his façade in place. It was Monday morning, so I had plenty of time to leave, as the sun had not risen yet.
    So I asked God, how do I forgive this man, who has beaten me so many times, to the point I couldn’t move, who has punched two babies from my stomach, who has threaten to put my babies on the street in prostitution, my son and daughter. Lord father, Abba I cried, how do, I forgive this man. God said to me before you were formed and placed in your mother’s womb I knew you and all the days of your life.
    Do you want freedom, to grow and to raise your children, to heal them, as you yourself heal? Yes father, I do, I want them stronger than me and their souls healed.

    So I walked through the kitchen, down the hall and back to the bedroom. I got on my knees in front of the man who stripped me daily of being human, and of being a mother and a woman and in a loving voice told him while he slept; that I forgave him for every cruel insensitive abusive action he had done to me, and my children, whether it was emotional, physical or psychological. I cried as though I was burying an old friend.

    It was about 5AM, in the morning. I took a shower. For the first time in months, I had the courage to look at my face in the mirror. Both my eyes were black and blue; my cheeks were covered by green and yellow from where he punched me last week. The whole right side of my body was black and blue and swollen, from punches and my left side of my body was green and yellow where the black and blues were healing. As I got dressed I felt God’s healing running through me and I felt strong. I put on an old flannel shirt and jeans, as I had no coat. I figure I would be running so I’ll be ok.

    I kissed my children while they slept, and whispered God/Jesus Love you, and today we are free. I told them with kisses and hugs I loved them. I took out the keys and opened the locks, left the key in the door, and stepped out to freedom, closing the door behind me. I ran down the fourteen flights of stairs, to the outside of the building. I ran in case anyone saw me, and thought to call him, that they had seen me. As I ran, toward the next town, quite literally I felt free without a burden. I felt good and positive about building a new future.

    In the next town, I came to a coffee shop just opening, and asked the waitress if I could use the phone and that I had no money, not a single dime. She stared at me, as she handed me the phone. I smiled and said thank you, she couldn’t open her mouth. I called my brother, and asked him to come pick me up in an hour three towns over. He said sure, have you really left, what about the kids, I told him we will get the kids at school, after he is arrested. I told him I didn’t want them to see that, after all he was still their father. I told the waitress thank you and she said here, I had the cook make you an egg sandwich with bacon and cheese. She asked me if I wanted coffee or tea, I said tea please. She told me I could sit and eat there, I told her I know it’s a little chilly but I rather sit in the park up the block. She blessed me as I left, I blew her a kissed and bowed my head and put my hand over heart gestured towards to her. She smiled.

    I ate in the park and watched as the sky became lighter and lighter, and the birds louder and louder. I sat there eating and being grateful for all that I was given and the entire world that God has given his people, all of us. That was the tastiest breakfast I had had in years.

    I stretched my legs, my back and started my run to the train station three towns over to meet my brother. I just kept smiling and laughing, Thank you God, thank you Jesus, I’m free finally free. I took a short cut jumping over people’s fences and going through their back yards. I must have looked like a crazy lady and I was; part of my hair was still matted with dry blood, from the night before. I didn’t have the time that morning to really wash and comb it out. I wasn’t yelling or screaming; I was quietly singing and rejoicing as I ran. I use to run for miles as a teenager, the pure joy of running flooded my heart.

    As I arrived at the train station my brother was pulling up, in his car. He opened the door and hugged me, and fell on his knees head in his hands crying, looking up at me crying, Oh My God he said you look like a prisoner of war. I said to him the most important words for that era in my life, “Hen, its ok I forgave him, I’m no longer a victim, I’m free, and freer than most people on this planet who have everything they want and need.” By Margot

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  9. Margot says:

    The story above is called “First Day of Freedom” Its 100% true.

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  10. Denise says:

    “If somebody like me were able to forgive the person who hurt him/her, what would that look like? How might it be possible?”

    The answer to this question proved difficult, until I realized there was not a ‘face’ that could or needed to be attached, unless, it was my own. I mean after all, one could put many faces there, could we not? The only one that mattered – was in looking at all of them only one thing was constant, and that was my Own Face. That is the one needing forgiveness, and – releasing and letting go. It cannot in any way help us, or serve us to continue to hold onto the past hurts, we have to come to the realization we can choose to release and let it go, sometimes there are no answers, nor, do there necessarily have to be, in order for US to heal!!

    For it was the hurt I was carrying with me, not really the ‘stories’ of how. I’m sure most of those ‘people’ don’t even remember me or the situation, so the common denominator had to be my own self. I think for most of us that is probably true. You see, most of the time it indeed is not them or the circumstance that needs forgiving, it is our own self – either for our part in it, (it usually takes two) – or for our allowing it to have become embedded into our being, or being unable to take the proverbial ’tape off rewind/replay’. We’ve got to step into our life, and actively take our power back.

    Even for those of us who practice being ‘awakened’ or conscious in the now, it is still our nature to have Re-active instead of Pro-active responses. Truth is most of what happens in our life, or our responses to it, are truly simply a choice. Do we choose to learn from it, grow from it, or allow it to damage us. Dare we look at our own part in the happening, or allow ourselves to feel justified in the blame game, I assure you it will most always be the other persons fault! Yet, that doesn’t heal the hurt we choose to carry with us does it? In fact, it is a sure way to keep it alive, and growing – the opposite of what our heart desires.

    So we can either learn and grow from it, discovering there just may be, (as is most always true) a hidden blessing/lesson within, or add it to our repertoire of becoming an unconscious victim, which will continue to rob our own inner power, preventing healing or growing. Ever wonder – “Why do these things happen, or continue to happen to me?” Perhaps it is because we unconsciously CONTINUE to ALLOW it to!

    One answer, (for me, it is so) was the realization that yes, healing lies firstly in Forgiving. It does not require forgiving the person, or specific action – but for the happening. This is where Universal Forgiveness is the greatest tool. It is the act of accepting that it is past, therefore no longer exists. It is letting go – and yes, all that really is required is forgiveness of our SELF, the hardest, sometimes seemingly ridiculous thing to do, after all, especially the times we truly did nothing to deserve the wrong in the first place. Or was the situation drawn to us for a reason, in reality? A whole other writing would be necessary, but entertain the possibility – it may just allow one to learn, heal and grow, letting the past be what it is, the PAST, allowing us to be free to actively create our future experiences. Wisdom teaches us eventually, while we cannot ‘control’ the What happens in the course of our life, we are indeed, truly in Control of WHAT we do with it, and whether we allow that past to strengthen, nurture us into the freedom of being who and what we truly desire, or remain a victim to our story, and continue it. It is truly as simple as a choice – contemplate why – when something so profound is SO simple we resist the possibility of its truth? Therein may just lie your freedom, simple as putting the key in the door to open it.

    In Truth and Light
    Denise

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  11. Susan says:

    To be subjected to ALL abuse and the unforgiven…one would imagine one would need to be mind spirited free and compassionate in order to forgive!

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  12. Vikki says:

    I’ve never liked the word “forgive,” because of my prior experiences. It seemed to say, “Sure, go ahead and continue to do bad things to me, because I won’t fight back.” The word just connotes victimhood to me. However, I’ve come up with a 3 step solution, restated in my own words, that’s more palatable for me:

    First, I learned that nothing is more important than how I feel about myself. The most important thing is to love myself first. This is the filter through which I experience the world.

    Second, once I’m truly loving myself, it shields me from external influences, like the opinions of others. Plus, I’m less likely to allow others to “negatively” influence me, or the “hurt” me. They dont have the power, unless I hand it to them. If this isn’t working, go back to the first step.

    Third, I suspend judgement of others. I’ve found that it has been MY judgement of others or the situation that had kept me in pain from past “negative” experiences, and not the experience itself. I now think that what is meant by “forgiveness” is actually “no judgement.”

    Just my technique, that I’ve formulated. It works for me. Love myself, don’t take cr@p from anyone, and don’t judge. That’s what makes me happy.

    Hope this reframing helps. I know it helped me.

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  13. montana gray says:

    Forgiving Me Set Me Free.

    “If somebody like me were able to forgive the person who hurt him/her, what would that look like? How might it be possible?

    I will write a letter to my soul and ask her how to forgive myself … perhaps she can help.

    Me:

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  14. montana gray says:

    Forgiving Me Set Me Free (continued — somehow my writing got posted before I’d even begun!)

    “If somebody like me were able to forgive the person who hurt him/her, what would that look like? How might it be possible?

    I will write a letter to my soul and ask her how to forgive myself … perhaps she can help.

    Me: Soul, I need your help. I have so many regrets – too many to mention – but you know what they are and I need some help here. How can I forgive myself?

    Soul: Dear one. There is nothing to forgive. Remember that you were doing the best you could as you journeyed to today, and even when you were unconscious, it was because you did not know any better.
    You must ask yourself, “Does it benefit anyone for me to carry this guilt and lack of forgiveness? And of course, the answer is “no.”

    You say you believe in a Higher Intelligence, Source, God. Do you believe that Higher Intelligence condemns you? No. You were never judged, dear one. Because this is simply a classroom, and you are on a journey of learning your soul lessons.

    Me: That’s all well and fine, soul, but what about the remnants of my mistakes … the hearts I wounded, the debts I have not honored, the feeling that I am simply not worthy because I have fallen down so many times?

    Soul: You are making a faulty assumption — that is that performance equals love. You are loved, regardless of your interpretation of your “performance.” You came from love, you will return to love. You have never been anything but love.

    Me: Soul, it doesn’t feel like that. I keep replaying over and over in my mind my mistakes and as I sit here and take inventory of what I’ve done and not done – the opportunities I’ve missed – my sadness seems endless.

    Soul: That is because you are not embracing the Truth of You – you are a Being of Light, here to learn and teach soul lessons. The world is simply a reflection of your progress. You can take the energy you are using to hang on to guilt and shame and lack of forgiveness and transform that energy into choosing to connect with the Higher Truth of who you are again …and knowing that if you are still here, you have gifts to give.

    It would be sad if you did not give your gifts because your energy was being diluted by these thoughts of unforgiveness.

    Me: I know this intellectually. How can I FEEL it right now? Really KNOW it?

    Soul: Begin feeding your mind with only the thoughts you wish to experience. Stay in gratitude and awe. Pray. Meditate. The Source that created you does not condemn – be like the Source – do not condemn yourself or others.

    Know that what others have done that has wounded you also came because they were not conscious enough to do better. Everyone is in a class room here and everyone is learning. Some slower than others – some on a faster track.

    You have a loving heart, a childlike belief in magic and joy, and you sincerely wish to help others.

    So the answer to your question is another question. Why do you believe you even need to forgive yourself?

    You are a student of the Universe. You have learned many lessons. Transform those lessons into road maps for others so they can have a smoother journey.

    The God that created you did not create you to live in torment, self doubt, and especially negative self judgmment.

    Do you see the flower wishing it were a tree? Or the bird wishing it were a dolphin? Or the dog wishing it were a cat? All of nature LIVES in the moment and shines their glory as who they are.

    Take a lesson from nature, dear one. There is nothing – NO THING – to forgive. You are a child of the Universe. Be the unique being that you are and bring light to someone else’s life.

    Me: Soul, that feels so peaceful. Especially the part about nature. You’re right – why would I want to be anyone other than who I am – and that includes my lessons and my journeys. I CAN help others because of what I’ve learned … and I can look out at the ones who wounded me and know that they, too, are stumbling and trying to find their own answers.

    I AM a good soul – I do have a good heart – I want to make a positive difference. Thank you soul – I will no longer engage in this limited and low vibrational thinking. It has become a habit – nothing more. I will focus on changing it this moment.

    I will remember your guidance and the quote from Miguel Ruiz — “There are no enemies, there are no friends, there are only teachers.”

    That means I need not be my own enemy by not forgiving myself..I have simply been a student and teacher along the way …

    So is everyone. Thank you soul — that feels peaceful. I will find my unique fingerprint and share it with the world. If I am a flower, I will be a beautiful one. If I am a bird, I will fly to the heavens. If I am a dolphin, I will play in the waters joyfully.

    Perhaps soul, I am all of these.

    I will forgive me now which means I will reframe that I ever had to forgive myself in the first place.. I will simply let it go. All of the toxic thinking.

    God doesn’t think these negative thoughts — I am from God – therefore, I choose not to think them either.

    Choice, soul. That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? Choice?

    Soul:
    Dear one – yes, choice and coming always from love – of self and others. Now go fly and be truly free.

    The world is waiting for your particular gifts …give them with abandon.

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  15. Eneth says:

    “If somebody like me were able to forgive the person who hurt him/her, what would that look like? How might it be possible?”

    To answer these questions, I want to tell you a story. It is a story of a little, ordinary domino piece called Jimmy.

    Jimmy lived together with all the other domino pieces of his community in a little box. In the beginning they were quite happy, but as soon as the people started playing with them, they became more and more unhappy and jealous of each other.

    The reason for this was that the people always preferred the double numbers like the double-six to start the game and the double-blank to use anywhere when they got stuck. Soon the double numbers became very haughty and told the others that they were more important than them. And if that was not already enough trouble, the doubles started fighting amongst themselves to find out who the most important one in the box was!

    So the fights started and they were hurting each other immensely. Little Jimmy became extremely unhappy and, having a soft heart, wondered if there was anything that he could do to stop all the hurting, bad feelings and unhappiness, but he couldn’t think of anything.

    He believed he was not important enough to speak to the doubles and although he tried his best to soothe the pain that was caused by all the harsh words, he could not find a way out of all this suffering.

    Then one day a little boy had no-one to play the domino-game with him and he started putting all the pieces upright in a long row. He accidently pushed the first one over and the whole row started to fall one after the other. This pleased the boy so much that he started doing it all over again and again and while he was doing it, Jimmy suddenly realised that the little boy had no preference for any piece. They were all equal to him in this new game!

    So, after they were all gathered together in their box again, he started to speak with all the others and told them what he found out. He went on, saying that they can become a happy community again if all of them accept this equalness and start forgiving each other for all the hurt and pain they caused.

    It took a long time for them to complete this process of accepting their equalness and forgiving each other and themselves and letting go, but in the end they became a happy community again.

    So, to answer the questions: if I can be like little Jimmy and start forgiving others and myself and let go and then teach others to do the same, maybe we can also cause this domino-effect so that we can realize that actually, we are all equal and do not have to hurt each other.

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