I read an interesting facebook comment the other day and that was that most of the mistakes we make in our lives are because we listened to the advice of our parents and teachers. It made me giggle a little but judging by the number of ‘likes’ the post got, it seems that there are many of us out there who feel the same way. So today I’m going to lead the charge in challenging two of the biggest pieces of advice I’m sure you have all received; trying hard and setting goals.
Now before everyone starts sitting at their computers staring aghast at the screen, I would like to say something. There is nothing inherently wrong with either of the two above-mentioned activities. I’m positive that many a difficult and worthwhile target has been achieved by engaging in them but there is a danger in not approaching tasks with the right mindset and that danger is that you could actually be pushing yourself further away from these goals.
Let me explain what I mean.
I’ll bet when you were children your parents all taught you that you will never reach anything if you don’t try.
‘If at first you don’t succeed….,’
‘There’s no gain without pain.’ etc.
I’ll bet you all (or at least 90% of you) have taken this on board and it has become a kind of life’s mantra. Most of us as adults believe that we must keep trying, must keep trying as we live our lives emulating ‘the Little Engine That Could’.
Abraham Hicks calls it ‘swimming upstream’. Yoda (don’t laugh, he is the higher voice of an entire generation) calls it acting ‘against the force’. But they are both talking about expending effort which will ultimately lead us to waste a lot of our energy.
Like most things Yoda says, there is more than a grain of truth involved. Think of it this way: although trying hard at something is a good way for you to push your boundaries, it is also important to recognise that situations which require constant effort are probably those with which we are not fully aligned.
Do you remember that part from Star Wars when Yoda says to Luke, ‘Do or do not, there is no try.’?
What Yoda is telling Luke is that when you using the force properly, you are only doing – there is no need to try or to expend unnecessary effort. Just getting out of your own way is enough.
In fact there is a vibrational version of everybody which reacts to every desire and starts moving towards it on a vibrational level, which then pulls your physical body towards it. This is what this feeling of elated expectation is that you feel just before something you really desire actually manifests. Hence the feeling of being downstream.
Now lets talk a little about goal setting.
It’s difficult to pick up a success book without reading about the importance of goal setting and how to achieve goals but there’s something you may not realise about goal setting and that if you are not in the right place vibrationally, goal setting may actually be stopping you from getting what you want.
How To NOT Achieve Goals
In order to understand why it might be holding you back, lets examine what happens when you set a goal and what effect it has on your vibration. If you are like most people, you know what you want so you think that in order to get what you want, you need to set that as a goal and try really hard to achieve it.
But then what happens is that you start to measure the desired result against what you actually have and suddenly if the result is not coming fast enough for you, a feeling of anxiety or desperation comes into your being and the goal suddenly starts to look unreachable.
When you feel like this, you have put yourself in a vibrational stance of not having something because the goal stays exactly as that, a goal and not something that actually exists for you. In other words, you have just put up a big wall of resistance.
Let’s make this clearer. Whether or not you reach the goals you set for yourself does not depend on how hard you work or how much you think about the goals, it depends on whether or not you are in a state of allowing. Allowing is where real attainment happens.
When you set a goal, you are hoping that something will manifest and the process for manifesting things happens in three steps. Firstly, you have to ask for it. This isn’t a problem as we ask for things all the time. In fact every time you think of something you don’t want, you are thinking that you want the opposite.
The second step is that the universe gives you what you want by putting things in motion for you. Step three is to be a vibrational match for what you want and you only become this when you feel good about something. In fact when you do a visualisation or make an affirmation, you are actually engaging in step three, not step one. Affirmations are part of the art of allowing. The affirmations will only be effective if the feeling place you get to as a result of using them puts you in vibrational alignment with what you want.
If I think about my goals with a feeling of eagerness and fullfillment, and a KNOWING that it will be given. This is the vibration that the universe will respond to and will make the manifestation happen much sooner. People who achieve their goals do so because because they are a vibrational match for them. Goal setting actually makes them feel good, not desperate. They know that the goal won’t be that hard to achieve if they just stay on track and they actually have fun with it instead of taking it too seriously. So the goal doesn’t really feel like a goal at all. It feels as though it has already happened.
So there you have it; two great pieces of classic advice reworked. And as Yoda would say,
‘My Ally is the Force.’
Linda Paull is a certified NLP practitioner and self-confessed personal development nut. She has spend the last few years studying they Law of Attraction and the workings of the sub-conscious mind in order to help herself and others create lives of abundance. The results of her research can be found on her blog: http://subliminalmindprogram.com
From which you can download a free copy of her e-book ‘Manifestation Tips From the Experts – 15 Things You Can Start Doing Today To Create The Life You Want’