It was Saturday morning, the girls were asleep and I was relaxed and working on the computer.
I felt a slight tingle in my arm – heard the thought in my head that said something like “that’s new hope everything is OK” and within 45 seconds my heart was racing and I had a stream of “ALMOST” uncontrollable thoughts that were working to convince me I was having a stroke. A sense of dizziness and panic set in and…
I also noticed a steady stream of quieter thoughts reminding me that I now have the tools and resources to handle anything – including panic
Still feeling the “ALMOST” uncontrollable panic I got up and began to take action, I…
1) Ran cold water over my wrists and my feet. During high anxiety/panic blood begins to flow from your head and “non essential organs” and moves to the extremities so that you can run – or fight – depending upon the emergency. Though I was in no immediate danger my body was acting as though I was – and this simple step can sometimes be all it takes to reverse the process and bring you back to center.
For me – this time – it helped – but did not stop the process
2) I laid down and practiced slow, steady breathing. During High Anxiety/Panic one typically begins a quick, shallow breath which does not allow enough oxygen to get into your system. Consciously slowing down your breathing allows you to oxygenate – which often brings one back to center.
Though I practice deep slow breathes daily – this time it was not enough. I needed to move. The crazy “I am dying” thoughts continued and somehow I was afraid that if I laid down too long I wouldn’t get up again.
3) I went outside – barefoot – and leaned against a big beautiful tree. Connection to the Earth allows the excess energy in your system to ground. It is helpful to imagine an opening in the bottom of one’s feet and to consciously watch (picture) the energy leaving and moving into Mother Earth. It is also helpful to open and imagine being supported by the trees, the grass, the dirt (or sand, or ocean or stream)
This simply step brought about a shift very quickly – and a sense of peace and connection started to filter into my space.
4) I called my friends for support and connection. I reached out to 2 very positive energetically connected friends who I knew would be able to help me regain my center quickly. Both took the time to be with me. Both remained very calm and positive. And both – in their own way – further supported my ability to open and connect and completely regain my center.
5) I took the time to reflect – and rest. Yes – I am very busy – and could have easily argued for going right back to work. However I have learned long ago that I come first – always – and that the body does whatever it needs to do to let us know when we are in any way out of balance. And when we don’t listen to our bodies – it finds ways to talk louder – and then louder still – until eventually it brings out the 2x4s…
So I grabbed a comfortable chair and placed it in the shade of that beautiful tree that helped me ground and I closed my eyes and I let go. And then after about 30 minutes I got up and was able to continue my day – somehow feeling even more peaceful – and alive – then I had before the incident began less then an hour earlier (give or take).
For those that have heard my story you know that it was the decision to find an alternative to drugs for Panic Disorder that has shaped my Life Journey over the past dozen or so years. This week’s Panic Attack is the first one I have had in over 10 years and it has left me with a very deep sense of gratitude for the path I have taken – and the decisions I have made.
Why did it happen? I am not certain – it may be related to the anti candida Journey I have begun (and which I hope to write about soon) – or it may have just been a reminder of what it feels like – so that I can be of ever greater service to those who deal with anxiety/panic on a regular basis and are looking for an alternative to the drugs Western Medicine is so quick to prescribe. I have learned long ago that the “why” questions do not ever really give me the really useful information. Instead I like to focus on the “Hows” and What’s like…
*How can I use this experience to bring more joy to myself and others?
*What further steps can I take to eliminate panic from my life – and the lives of those who are looking for non-drug related solutions?
*In what other ways can I benefit from this experience?
Which reminds me – have you listened to Lush Life yet? If not – may I suggest you do so now. I have been using it pretty consistently since we first created it (I test all the audios before we release them – but there is no way I can “use” everything). In this case I tested, loved, and then began to really use it in my day to day life. For me it’s been phenomenal – and I expect you may find the same.
I have also become a huge fan/regular user of the Ultimate Mind Music – which we are launching July 1rst – so keep your eyes open for that announcement
Loving Life – Aren’t you?