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Are You Acting From Gratitude, Love, and Trust or Doubt and Fear?

As human beings, we operate daily reflecting a wide range of emotions with a multitude of motivations fueling our behaviors.

All too often, we react emotionally to what others say or do. If our reactions are preceded by the emotions of fear, anger, or sadness, we forfeit our ability to act with personal power and effectiveness in lieu of a knee-jerk response. This reaction is all too often sourced in fear and low self-esteem. We may focus on what’s wrong with us and our lives, fear being controlled, hurt, or taken advantage of.

We may overlook the many things we have in our lives for which we should rightly be grateful, doubt our ability to thrive and access the abundance we see all around us in the world, reacting instead from the concern of scarcity and the expectation of failure, hurt, and disappointment. We may see ourselves in competition for the world’s resources and the love and attention of others rather than realizing that there is more than enough of all that is good to go around. We forget that we manifest what we expect rather than needing to compete for limited resources.

Whenever we forget that we are magnificent beings and that there is plenty of wealth, happiness, fun, and fulfillment to go around, we might feel the need to protect ourselves from what we perceive to be a dangerous world. We likewise tend to forget that others operate from the same lacking self-confidence, scarcity of gratitude, and deficient self-love that we often do. So, whenever two or more individuals see themselves as not good enough to tap into the world’s abundance and get all their needs met from a physical, social, mental, and emotional perspective, conflicts are likely to arise. The result is broken relationships, strained communication, emotional pain, struggle, and suffering. All of these are needless and optional for those who realize their ability to detach from the struggle and master their emotional response.
When we stop to realize that everyone else suffers from the same self-doubt and fear of being dominated and cheated out of getting their fair share of love, fun, money, possessions, and security, we can break the vicious cycle of endless competition and continual striving for domination. We can realize that cooperation and communication is more effective in producing harmony than competition and a focus on self-interest based on fear. We can intentionally choose to trust that others are doing the best they know how to do based upon how they see the world. We can assume that they act from good intentions, even when we fear the opposite. We can hold them as worthy, competent, loving, good natured and capable of creating win-win relationships rather than fearing them as hateful, ill meaning, incompetent, unworthy, selfish opponents.

When we decide to champion others by looking for the best in them and interact with them out of an attitude of gratitude for their gifts, strengths, and positive qualities, in such as manner that they are clear that we hold them as intrinsically good and worthy of our love and respect, we provide for them a new and exciting opportunity for them to show up for us in this manner. Our decision to hold others as great (because they really are when we strip away their anger, fears, and insecurities) allows them the freedom to rise to our expectations. By operating from love and gratitude for the wisdom and empathy we develop as a result of our interactions with others, we see their mistakes as temporary indiscretions producing valuable lessons from which to learn and grow rather than reflections of a fundamentally defective being.

The key to bringing out the best in others is non-attachment. When we realize that we have total control over our response to any situation, and we give up our right to be invalidated by others or control them, we will possess a newfound freedom that allows us to exit the drama of conflict in favor of understanding, compassion, and love. Decide now to be grateful for the challenges you will encounter in your life and business. See the problems that arise as opportunities for your personal development. Look for these challenges as you go about your day, be grateful when you encounter them, and seek out the gifts awaiting your discovery.

Exercise for Expanding Gratitude and Shifting Your Reactive Nature

1. List all the things you have decided to be grateful for in your life and business.
2. In your daily journal, record each time you fail to express gratitude for a challenging situation.
3. Catch yourself reacting emotionally to what someone says or does and shift your perception in that moment to appreciate the learning experience at hand.
4. In your daily life and business, who are you not holding as magnificent?
5. How can you champion their excellence and express gratitude for the opportunity to grow in love and wisdom that they are gifting you instead of reacting with anger, sadness, or fear?
6. Who are you seeking to control or avoid being controlled by? Will you take on the practice of non-attachment in your relationship with them by creating space for them to be who they are? Do this for 30 days and record in your journal how your interactions with them evolve. Make note of something that you can be grateful for in each situation.

Dr. Joe Rubino is a life-changing life optimization and business coach and the best-selling creator of the SelfEsteemSystem.com and 11 transformational books available worldwide in 19 languages. To receive a complimentary audio program entitled “7 Steps to Soaring Self-Esteem” and a free 1 year membership in The Success Achievers’ Club ($129 value), visit http://www.SelfEsteemSystem.com . For more information on his books, audios, and coaching program, visit http://www.CenterForPersonalReinvention.com or email him at DrJoeRubino@CenterForPersonalReinvention.com .

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Are You Acting From Gratitude, Love, and Trust or Doubt and Fear?, 9.5 out of 10 based on 23 ratings
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9 Responses to “Are You Acting From Gratitude, Love, and Trust or Doubt and Fear?”

  1. min says:

    This is a fantstic article. Shifting the reactive nature is a little hard, but must try.

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  2. I was amazed at how much my relationship with people changed when I started looking for the best in everyone. My work was in customer service and I found that by looking for the best, every situation was redeemable. People were so much more co-operative and my life was a lot easier. I have been doing this for years now, and it works.

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  3. Michaela says:

    It’s all in the perception and when we shift our perception to a circumstance or a person our reaction is no longer automatic and we realise we have a choice in every given situation and our reaction changes and miraculously the other person seems to change for the better. Great article. Thank you.

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  4. Leila says:

    I guess interactions are personal things and to get the most from them involves leaving space for response and avoiding reacting. If the other person does the same you can have an amazing experience and if they aren’t in that space maybe it’s best just to say ‘well, perhaps it’s not going to happen now or even today then – maybe in an hour or two or tomorrow.’

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  5. Julia says:

    I really appreciate where Dr.Joe is coming from. Working in HR I try to practice Gratitude for all I encounter on a daily basis and strongly encourage my colleagues to follow suite. It really pays off to focus on the positive and learn from the negative, not react to it. Thanks this is a great article and one I’ll share with my colleagues and friends.

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  6. Alton says:

    Hi, this is absolutely awesome, and it comes at the right time for me. Thanks Dr Joe

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  7. Nyakio says:

    Dr. Joe this is a very good article. I started practising seeing the best in all people last year when I started attending Raja Yoga classes & it works wanders…its not as easy as it sounds for our egos/pride try to pull us down but it worth every effort. I love the article its cool.

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  8. Darlene says:

    Wow! Did this ever come into my life at a good time! Thanks so much for reminding us that being grateful and changing perspective opens the door to the BEST of everything we can get out of life.

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  9. christopher says:

    i agree with most of this stuff. maybe i’ll try it on my bi-polar friend. now that will be a challenge. most of them have very few friends and i can see why. therefore it would be real interesting to see how this method would work on those with chemichal imbalances or those so deeply abused that their brains have been hardwired into unnatural and often an unworkable mess. hope that doesnt seem negative. i know several bi-polar types and they all seem to be above average intelligence and spirituality and quite fun most of the time and then…….crash. i would like to help them and be compassionate but us new agers are taught to escape abusive people. hopefully your onto something advanced enough to alter those type of patterns. best of luck and good circumstances to you all.

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