At the secret heart of every relationship we’re drawn into is the fact that we are brought into that relationship for the purpose of discovering ourselves. That man, that woman, that career, that possibility stands as a mirror in which we discover about ourselves that which cannot be discovered in any other way.
Perhaps in my search for myself, I have made wonderful discoveries in a special kind of mirror that opens my understanding of things that are celestial, and I am enlarged by them. I am made into a better person. I see things that are brighter and truer. I understand the nature of love more purely. And it is natural for me to want to share what I have found and help others realize the same thing in themselves.
If you went on a hiking trip and you saw something that took your breath away or that inspired you, you would feel compelled to tell others about it. Why? Because in the telling is the re-integration in yourself of what you saw. In the same way, the more you share the truth you discover, the closer you draw to the truth you share.
As aspirants to a better life, we have a responsibility to place before all else our wish to find what is true. If we put that first, at all costs, then everything we do to find what is true enlarges us. We are made into new human beings. And who wouldn’t want to share that kind of discovery with everyone they know?
Then we make the grand discovery that we can’t help another individual without first helping ourselves. Most of us don’t understand the beautiful, invisible relationship that exists between all of us because we’ve been conditioned to depend upon appearance, and in appearance we seem separate from one another. But the truth of the matter is, we share something far deeper than the surface differences. What we share in common, and why we can’t help another without helping ourselves, is that we all share a longing to be true to discover ourselves.
As we work to be true, we end up helping everyone we meet, because the clearer the purpose for our existence becomes, the less we will play games. We won’t try to appear to be something we’re not, because we have something pivotal to do with our lives, to be present to ourselves and to all the possibilities in the moment. And with our own presence and honesty, we help everyone else around us realize the same thing.
In our attempts to fulfill our own purpose by being present in the moment, we can give others an unparalleled gift, which is to discover their purpose, to see the truth of their own higher possibilities. In that moment we have given them something beyond imagination, something they will treasure throughout their own existence, and that will change existence itself , for all of us.
(Excerpted from The Seeker, The Search, The Sacred: Journey to the Greatness Within, Red Wheel/Weiser)
Guy Finley is the best-selling author of more than 38 books and audio albums on self-realization. He is the founder and director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit center for self-study located in southern Oregon where he gives talks four times each week. For more information visit www.guyfinley.org, and sign up to receive a free helpful newsletter emailed to your desktop once each week.
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