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Excerpt From 31 Ways to Champion Children to Develop High Esteem – by Dr. Joe Rubino

Chapter 1

The Importance of Self Esteem

Over the course of the past 19 years, as a life-optimization, business-productivity, and personal-effectiveness coach, I have had the privilege of personally coaching more than one thousand people to make their lives work more optimally. As a result of these coaching sessions, I have been able to gain great insight into what it takes to be maximally effective with others, most productive in business, and what is generally necessary to achieve fulfillment and happiness. I have noticed that whenever there was struggle and suffering, when scarcity thinking took precedence over one’s ability to attract abundance, when conflict and broken relationships were present, when abusive, addictive, or emotionally taxing behaviors were the norm, whenever people struggled in their communication and in their relationships, when health issues diminished the quality of one’s life experience, and in short, whenever all the things people don’t want to attract into their lives characterized the realities of my coaching clients, one common denominator was typically present.

That underlying factor is lacking self-esteem.

Studies show that high self-esteem is the number one ingredient essential for developing happiness, fulfillment, rich relationships, and overall success in life. My definition of what comprises high self-esteem is more encompassing than most. It starts with personal power, which is our ability to produce an intended result with velocity. In other words, people possessing high self-esteem have the ability to envision a goal or accomplishment and know that they can manifest it deliberately and with confidence. Those possessing personal power also have the ability to influence others. They know that this gift can translate into making bold requests, using their charisma to get their agendas heard, or otherwise doing whatever it takes to bring about their desired results.

In addition to possessing personal power, those with high self-esteem have an air of competence. They are in control of their lives and expect success. Their positive expectation of a bright future marked by rich relationships, abundance, happiness, and fulfillment creates within them the self-motivation essential to bring about their vision for each aspect of their lives on purpose. They feel like they can control their destinies rather than be at the affect of the whims of others and the random assaults of what others lacking in self-esteem might see as a cruel and punishing world.

Those with high self-esteem also feel significant. They matter to others and have the attention and affection of many. They love freely and are loved in return and know that there is no shortage of love, friendship, riches, blessings, fun, and fulfillment. These and all the other blessings they desire are all around them, ready for their taking. An exciting world overflowing with possibilities and opportunities lies ahead for them and they know it and take advantage of the abundance, fun, and loving relationships awaiting them!

High self-esteem people are also comfortable with who they are. They are virtuous and feel good about themselves from a moral perspective. They know that they are intrinsically good (as are others) and they take pride in their communications and relationships, knowing well that they have much to offer and contribute to others. Their actions are consistent with their values and they have integrity. Their words reflect their intentions and they walk their talk. They are proud of who they are and realize the contribution they represent to the others and to the world.

Just as importantly, those possessing high self-esteem have an appreciation for others. They look at others with empathy, realizing that life must be characterized by win-win relationships because what hurts others hurts us as well. They have an appreciation for what it must be like in the other person’s shoes. They realize that people do the best they know how to do consistent with how they see the world.

Unlike those who are ego-driven, high self-esteem people respect others, rather than focus on just what is in it for them. All too often, people mistakenly confuse high ego for high self-esteem. The two could not be more dissimilar. In fact, those with a selfish preoccupation for only themselves typically lack self-esteem as they fail to consider the importance of mutuality and respect for the rights and needs of others. These egotists are not aware of respecting the needs of others and so they, by definition, lack self-esteem in that arena. For one to truly possess high self-esteem, he or she must respect the rights and needs of others. Therefore, egomaniacs, self-centered individuals, bullies, and those who violate others − although they may appear self-confident − lack true self-esteem.

For one to possess high self-esteem, he or she must feel significant and virtuous, possess empathy for others, and display personal power and competence in all six key areas of life. These areas include health and appearance, relationships, occupation or business, the ability to attract wealth and be in control of one’s finances, personal and spiritual development, and the ability to have fun, play, and pursue one’s passions. Those lacking the ability to make their lives work optimally in any of these areas may possess situational self-esteem. It can be commonplace for one to possess high self-esteem in one area (like business) while lacking self-esteem in another (such as relationships.) However, because all areas of life are connected, diminished levels of self-esteem in one area invariably carry over to sabotage other areas. For this reason, it is important that one approach life with a perspective that embraces whole thinking. This means that because all areas of life are intertwined, true happiness, abundance, fulfillment, and success in all areas is the ultimate goal of an integrated life.


31 Ways to Champion Children to Develop High Self-Esteem – An Empowerment Guidebook for Parents, Teachers & Others

With this book you will:

• Learn the difference between high self-esteem and high ego
• Discover the origins of low self-esteem and how to best support children to overcome early challenges
• Learn the one thing that will most effectively build belief and self-confidence in children
• Acquire the antidote to negative self-talk
• Realize the secret to becoming an extraordinary role model for children
• Discover the three keys to healing and completing the painful past
• Uncover the answer to reversing depression and self-pity
• Develop the tools to impart soaring self-esteem and self-confidence effortlessly
• Learn how to support children to discover and develop their gifts
• Be taught the daily exercise that allows children to maximize their effectiveness with others
• Learn the secret to supporting children to live with passion and enthusiasm
• Discover the secret to forever eliminating upsets from children’s lives
• Learn what to do when you or your child makes a significant mistake
• Develop the tools essential to guarantee a happy and fulfilling life
• Learn the art of visioning and how it can transform a child’s life
• Develop the secret that will turn goal setting from a chore to a pleasure
• Be able to teach children the life-changing tool that will allow them to instantly diffuse their anger, forever free them from depression and turn fear into excitement and positive expectation
• Know how to best support children to ensure good grades and maximize their likelihood of success
• Show children how to differentiate between making convenient choices and those that align with their commitments
• Get the ability to help children put an end to procrastination once and for all
• Discover how to empower children to stay fit and healthy
• Learn when to give in and when to be firm
• Acquire the skill of empowering your life and the lives of the children you impact
• Learn the one key ingredient to banish suffering for good
• Understand the secret to eliminating selfishness and egotism
• Be taught how to support others to train their thoughts to empower their lives
• Discover the secret to avoiding excessive and compulsive behaviors
• Be able to teach others the key ingredient essential to avoid disappointment in life
• Acquire the key to enhancing charisma and personal effectiveness
• Learn the secret to achieving daily breakthroughs in every area of life
• Be able to teach children how to maximize their personal effectiveness
• Learn the art of empowering children to be their best
• And much more!

To order your copy, please visit 31 Ways to Champion Children to Develop High Self Esteem

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One Response to “Excerpt From 31 Ways to Champion Children to Develop High Esteem – by Dr. Joe Rubino”

  1. Leila says:

    Thanks for the great article. I liked the distinction you made between high-ego and high self-esteem. I agree too that it’s important to be confident in a number of different areas of life before you can be really happy.

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