Did you know? There are only two kinds of work. Always were, are, and will ever be. Which kind do you do?

Firstly the nature of the work you do has nothing to do with its content.

Whether you are a garbage collector or a president. Of course, there is no comparison in terms of importance and usefulness here. (Without garbage collectors we would become filthy and sick, whereas without presidents we would be living quite happily. For a start there would be no one to declare wars, and nothing to usurp the freedom of the population to decide on important issues for themselves.)

The nature of work, or ‘a job’ is the description of what one does.

The type or kind of work is the way you do it.

There are two ways of getting things done.

We can see this in Greek, where the English word ‘work’ is seen to comprise  two completely different types or kinds of activities.

The type or how of your work has nothing to do with the ‘what’, but everything to do with the ‘how’ you do it.

The one kind of work we have come to accept as ‘necessary’ to live is doulia. This is a forced, ‘necessary’ labour, to which one is enslaved. It is derived from the word doulos=slave.

The other is ergasia. This noun is derived from the noun ergon=creation.

‘Ergasia’ can be every bit as strenuous, difficult, dangerous as any ‘doulia’.

However, one who is engaged in doulia is doing something begrudgingly, by force, to serve a particular, secular interest which is neither his own, nor the Whole/the world.

In fact, by serving some other individual interest, both individual and the Whole lose out.

Schools are designed to churn out ‘worker’ slaves to perpetuate a certain style of living with values which support neither the individual or the whole, as reflected in the increasing rate of physical and psychological illnesses, social, economic and environmental problems. (I’m an ex 2ndary/3iary teacher)

We have been trained to unquestionably seek ‘doulia’ work as a way to live and win social approval and status. We live in an age where slavery is no longer legally legislated. This is not necessary, as the great majority of us commit ourselves to seeking ‘doulia’ and thus become slaves, living to slave, and slaving to live.

By contrast, ergasia is what one chooses to do. It involves a vision, a love for doing it, whatever it takes, whether it is done individually or in a team, and whether it is voluntary or paid, professional or amateur.

In stark contrast to nature where life spontaneously encourages all its participants to do their thing to the best of their ability, to the benefit of the Whole, and even in religion, where God (or the gods) give us the freedom to choose how to be and what to do at every moment. Each and every participant in nature plays an irreplaceable role, and each plays its own unique role unthinkingly, from stone to elephant, from the massive redwood to the tiniest, sweet smelling flower. As I have previously mentioned in another article, true ‘freedom’ is not total detatchment, but, to the contrary, eleutheria a total commitment to be a conduit to the very Creative Principle which created us. Not what other people, organizations, culture groups, etc (egos) tell, instruct, force, blackmail, us into doing.

My father was a very academically astute, enterprising, imaginative man who wanted to become an architect, but felt obligated to work for his older brother in a foreign continent from the age of 14. When relieved of his ‘brother helping’ duties, he opened his own restaurant. He was an excellent restaurateur, but despite his abilities, his charm and his success, he never enjoyed what he did. It was a doulia. Not an ergasia.

In fact he would not even let his children help him as he was terrified lest they should be identified with this work, rather than take up a profession as was his dream. In contrast, I had friends who were topnotch directors in huge companies, the epitomy of social success who dreamed of retiring to open up their own restaurant.

I, by contrast to my father, no longer have any use for my post graduate qualifications in psychology and education, having followed my heart to an ergasia which is far more effective, both for me and the many more lives that I touch.

In the upmarket Athens suburb of Philothei were two garbage collectors. One was very sensitive to his perceived ‘low status job’ which he did begrudgingly, while the other saw it as an opportunity to be outdoors, keep fit and meet people. He did not worry about social status and felt that he ‘owned’ the sidewalks of Athen’s most upmarket suburb. He also would politely but firmly educate people about self respect and cleanliness when he saw them littering, irrespective of what their social status was. Guess which one was sickly and had children with low self esteem and were ashamed of their father, and which one inherited a house in the selfsame neighbourhood from a rich and lonely widow, whose house husband had died young through ‘work pressure’.

This differentiation between the two types of ‘work’ are by no means limited to the traditional ‘work arena’ of earning money. Guess who makes a better parent? Or teacher? One who sees their parental/teaching role as a ‘responsibility’, or one who sees their role as an honour, a privilege and a unique opportunity to shape the future of the world through the joy of children?

Whether you believe in reincarnation or not, you, as a personality only have ‘one life’. Honour yourself, follow your heart, and do what rings your bell, not what you ‘should/have to’ do, but what you choose. And whatever you do, do it first and foremost for yourself. Even if you have to forego the material ‘luxuries’ of a ‘good (doulia) job’ and live in your car.

Been there, done that and never looked back. It’s tough. But it’s more than worth it. I have faced my fears and broken the chains which kept me down as what I now see as a subhuman existence. Life has offered me so much more than what I would have ever had, (in every way) had I followed the well intended advice of all my friends and relatives to ‘go and get a job’. It’s not easy, but a conscious decision which is most certainly worth making.

Apollo Pampallis is a Life Mentor and can be contacted on Apollo@discoveringthenow.com. He is establishing new web pages in an exciting new alliance. For ongoing information, upcoming webinars, consultations, ebooks and other news please contact him on the above email

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2. What’s Worse Than Being a Miser? by Apollo Pampallis A ‘mean’, stingy or miserly person is certainly sending out...
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The concept of choosing your feelings may sound odd. Feelings are feelings, right? They just happen to us.  We can in fact choose how we experience our emotions. We are not victims to the energy that moves through us, the energy in motion, our e-motions. Sure, they happen instantly and unconsciously at first, like a wave that rushes through the body…until we decide to increase our awareness and be the creators of our lives, instead of the victims. Choosing does not mean suppressing or denying how you really feel. Grief, anger, sadness, fear… they all play profoundly important roles as message-bearers. Feeling it, acknowledging it, and then choosing something new is key. Ignoring emotions or slapping a happy band-aid on them may keep them submerged where they could fester, keep you stuck, alter your perceptions, and make you sick.

Rose is in constant overwhelm. She loves what she does and does it well, however there is more and more and more to DO. She is working 12-15 hours a day, every day and she is wearing down emotionally. Her biggest nemesis is her equipment. Her PC is crashing, her printer chews up paper and her CD duplicator rejects discs she knows are fine. Rose has deadlines to meet and her equipment is out to get her. She is loosing her amusement and feels anxiety most of the time. Last Wednesday she had a full-blown crying meltdown when the fax machine jammed. Rose was ready to quit it all and die. Friday something changed. Rose took the morning off and played. She recognized a strange and unfamiliar emotion and consciously chose to call it Happy-Ease. When she finally entered her office at 1pm, she felt better than ever. It was time to call the equipment companies. Well – she was shocked at the results. The computer guy had an easy fix and the duplicator just began to work perfectly, all by itself! The printer began to print. And the fax-faxed! The connection between her mood and the mood of her equipment was undeniable. Now Rose sets her tone before entering her office and steps away if she notices feelings that don’t feel good. Her overwhelm and anxiety are disappearing and she’s experiencing more Happy-Ease.

Self-Coaching Tool:

Wear the Word. The habit of being victim to our emotions is strongly engrained in our belief systems. And we must choose differently if we are to become the leaders, healers and mentors we came here to be. Try this:

1 – Begin to consciously notice times when you are feeling lousy and the results around you. There IS a direct relationship. Then notice times when you feel great and how that affects your world.

2 – Write a list of words that you would like to experience (no analyzing, judging or censoring – just be wild and write down anything).

3 – Each day, close your eyes and randomly place a finger on one word. Wear that word all day, like a coat or hat. It may be uncomfortable or strange at first. Just play and be easy as you do this. You are re-wiring your internal system to become more fully who you truly are.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

JIM SELF is an international speaker and author (Spirit Matters: Down-to-Earth Tools for a Spirited Life) who is often introduced as a teacher’s teacher and a healer’s healer. Since childhood, Jim has had the ability to recall his experiences within the sleep state. Over the last ten years, this awareness has expanded into relationships with the archangels, ascended masters and teachers of light. The tools and information presented in the program, Mastering Alchemy, is a co-creation of these relationships.

Jim walks with a foot in both worlds. At the age of twenty-six, he was elected to his first of two terms to the San Jose, CA City Council and later became the Vice Mayor. Before completing his second term, he was asked by President Jimmy Carter to be an advisor and the Director of Governmental Operations for the Dept. of Energy. As an entrepreneur, he has successfully built and sold two corporations, and is the founder and current Board Chairman of a third.

Jim is a leader in the field of spiritual development and has been leading seminars on personal energy management and the Tools of Mastering Alchemy for over 27 years. He offers free live tele-seminars, videos and local classes around North America, plus a wealth of FREE material on his website, including downloadable articles, videos, booklets, essential tools and other useful information, including details of his free online Teleclasses, Webinars, and in-person talks, Level 1 weekend workshops, and Level 2 year-long seminars. http://www.masteringalchemy.com.

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American culture is afraid of depression. Emotions, reflection, introversion, being, solitude and contemplation are the quiet, feminine yin qualities that all women and men can access, but are rarely encouraged to develop. The masculine, yang aspects of doing, extroversion, drive, achievement and competition are validated, encouraged and rewarded. Yet both sets of qualities are required for each of us to attain balanced health and well-being — the active doing of the male and the female stillness of being.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, roughly 26.2 percent of Americans are currently being treated with medication and/or therapy for depression. Although there is much speculation on the causes and cures for this disease, there also is hidden within each person’s experience of depression the precious gift of truth that is crying out to be heard and embraced.

Ease vs. dis-ease

Have you ever had the experience of over-stressing yourself and getting a cold? That cold is your physical body’s message that your system is out of ease or balance. Experiencing a dis-ease is experiencing a time of miscommunication with your inner guidance system. Physical dis-ease forces you to care for your body. Finally you have permission (and are forced) to rest. You have permission to take care of your deeper, fundamental needs.

Your emotional/mental body also offers signals indicating imbalance and dis-ease. As you become caught in the wheel of overachieving and stress, you may become out of ease. Depression is one demonstration of this imbalance. Depression (“pressing inward”) stops time and offers permission to re-prioritize and give to your Self. Depression holds many subtle gifts for you.

Through depression, your inner guidance is asking you to descend into the dark, quiet internal caverns alone, to sit and contemplate that part of yourself which cannot be reached in the external world. This is a descent into your deeper nature. Denying this important time, remaining socially acceptable and covering up or looking away from the message your inner guidance system is offering you, is a missed opportunity. You miss both your personal wisdom and your voice. We learn instead to fear our inner signals, to quiet them, and simply continue to do and achieve. But what if, instead of suppressing your inner signals you were to instead:

• Allow yourself to listen once again to your own sensitivities?
• Trust and accept that your anger, irritation, illness and depression as signs that your true path of harmony is calling to you?
• And allow that message of change to seep into your daily schedule, your office, home and heart?

Depression arrives as a gift, offering the chance to touch the deeper ground within your Self.  Depression asks that you stop and take the time to recognize the quiet, steady voice of your own truth. If you heed depression’s call, the voice of authority is no longer outside, but now deeply within you. Depression demands that your life be viewed, not as a commodity, spent in service to external authorities such as profession, church, community or even family. Depression demands that you hold your life sacred and live moment to moment.

A few months ago, Sheryl (not her real name) requested assistance in reducing her dependency on anti-depression drugs. She also wanted to clarify destructive thought patterns and make the changes necessary to return to a level of happiness she had felt in her early 20s. By respecting and working with her emotions, fears and thoughts, she learned to ask herself better questions and recognize the quiet wisdom her inner guidance system was offering her. Over a short period of time, Sheryl brought into harmony a successful career as a computer programmer with her heart’s desire to teach high school students. She also reduced her medications to almost zero.

If you’ve been feeling somewhat down and depressed lately, what if, instead of stuffing down your feelings, you asked yourself:

• “What is the gift this darkness is offering me?”

• “Where am I not being truthful with myself?”

What if you allowed yourself to leave a way of doing that doesn’t nourish you; that makes you unhappy, and instead begin to embrace a way of being that feeds your soul?

Perhaps you can!

———————————————————————

An author and teacher, Roxane has been offering tools for developing intuition and Personal Power to individuals, businesses and women’s groups since 1994. Following a successful career as an art director for two large corporations and as manager of her own design firm, she trained as a Life Coach and Mastering Alchemy teacher. Roxane’s seminars include: Spiritual Abilities and Tools for Intuition, Personal Energy Management and Female Alchemy. She also has been featured on television, radio and in national publications both in the US and Australia.

She is the co-founder of Mastering Alchemy and presents this work with Jim Self.

You can find more free articles, e-books, DVDs, audio recordings of teleclasses, webinars, and Q & A sessions, along with more advanced Mastering Alchemy teaching programs at www.MasteringAlchemy.com. Sign up for a  FREE Newsletter and get regular updates on new articles, teleclasses and webinars as they become available.

PLEASE NOTE: Universal Copyright 2010 is authorized here. Please distribute freely as long as the website www.masteringalchemy.com is included as the resource and this information is distributed on a non-commercial no charge basis.

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This is the motto of the Greek Nation. It is taken to mean that one would rather die than live under the yoke of foreign occupation, so that risking or even losing one’s life fighting to that end would not only be heroic but an obvious choice.

However, this is a reactive interpretation. An assumption that we are victims of circumstance to the extent that ultimate victimhood, i.e. death, is a preferable, more honourable and more acceptable way of experiencing one’s victimhood.

This is reflected in religious rhetoric, with all the suffering, from those in the Old Testament, to Jesus dying for us and martyrdom of the saints.

Seen from a creative, self empowering perspective, however, “Freedom or Death” becomes more than a motto to live by, but a statement of unavoidable truth.

It links in with my first article on “Gratitude”  which I suggest you read as an introduction to see how obvious the relationship between freedom, death and gratitude really is.

Firstly let’s look at the word ‘freedom’. In Greek the word ‘eleutheria’ is far more meaningful. The word “freedom” alludes to a state of non dependence or subservience to anyone or anything. In truth, there is no such state. Even an anarchistic atheist is subservient to his “god”, his commitment to opposing the status quo and his belief that his philosophy is ‘correct’ and demands subservience. “Eleutheria”, by contrast, is not an assertion of negation of attachment such as ‘freedom’, but a positive statement of connection. It literally means “attraction and free flow of sacred/source energy”, so that such a person is aligned with universal energy beyond time and space, and thus not limited in our three dimensional temporality, or the illusion of time and space which our limited physical senses betray us into believing and being subservient to.

It is an ability to say “flip it” to any and all life circumstances and, with head up high, experience even the most uncomfortable, and most horrific life circumstances firstly with unconditional gratitude(not necessarily gratefulness- see Why Gratitude? for the difference). Only then do we allow ourselves the freedom to choose between dwelling on the terrible circumstance, like experiencing potential, imminent and unavoidable or unpreventable loss or danger or physical death to ourselves and/or loved ones or not. I have lived through poverty, homelessness, loss of all my most precious possessions. Being overrun by rats and not even being able to sleep. Others have lived through loss of their homes and family members in war and experienced horrendous concentration camp conditions and genocides, of whom the most known in the west in our time is Viktor Frankl.

The difference between ‘masters,’ ‘survivors’ and ‘victims’ of life is to what degree we are eleutheri/free, that is, connected primarily with “sacred (life) energy” or in other words our spiritual reality (source/cause) or the physical ‘reality’ we are going through (result/effect). The masters will experience ‘gratitude’ (great attitude) and power, regardless of physical circumstance, (literally things that stand around us in our lives) the survivors, being the great majority of us, will unconsciously drift between spiritual and physical realities without being aware of it, while victims identify fully with the material state of life, and are cut off from any sense of creative power, reacting unconsciously to the same circumstances, not realizing that circumstance is a state of effect of what we consciously or unconsciously create.

The tendency to increased ‘victim’ mentality needs to be acknowledged in all levels of our society, so that we can become aware of our own programming as we in turn reinforce this programming in a vicious self reinforcing cycle.

The institutions that own us and that we serve cut us off even further from our source than the identification with our physical reality. Physical reality is created from Source, and our nations and religions are created by ‘our’ egos, the egos of our physicality. In truth, you cannot identify with, and serve Source and at the same time identify with and be in bondage with such abstractions as nation states and religions which by definition stand between us and our spiritual reality, and as a consequence fellow humans and the rest of Creation.

The likes of Jesus and Socrates were neither victims or put to death, because as free spirits (eleutheri) they identified with their primary/Source reality which is not limited by time or space of the three dimensional world. They understood that in reality death is merely a belief of the body-bound ego. Real death is identifying with the body instead of owning it.

And that is really scary, as our bodies and the personality we have created around it is a temporary (meaning in time) creation designed to ‘die’ any how sooner or later.

They chose to let go of their bodies instead of their serene understanding of who they really were and are. The same applies to saints and martyrs who chose to let go of their bodies in the way that we let go of an old car. The vehicle no longer serves its owner. The operating costs outweigh any benefits it offers. The metal used in its making is best served recycled into a new car, as do the spiritual and physical/material components of a body which has served its purpose, irrespective of its age. The image of a Jesus pinned on a cross only serves to foster the illusion of death and suffering, whereas He chose to rather illustrate how the sacrifice (sacred fee) of His physical body bought the promise of eternal Life, together with the promise that we shall (at some point, not might) do better than He had in our own lives.

We are, indeed Spiritual Beings having a physical experience. And true ‘freedom’ is not the pursuit of total detachment, but of misidentification only with all things temporary (which by definition, die), things, people, ideologies, beliefs….. and re-membering our Source, allowing it to guide us in its service, and vice versa. After all, serving our Source is the best way to serve ourselves, and likewise Source/God serves itself best by serving us.  Something that is as easy to do as our willingness to do it.

Apollo Pampallis is a Life Mentor and can be contacted on Apollo@discoveringthenow.com. He is establishing new web pages in an exciting new alliance. For ongoing information, upcoming webinars, consultations, ebooks and other news please contact him on the above email

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Is it true that you ‘love your spouse’, and cannot imagine being apart? Is it true that there is a fine line between love and hate? To me, that sounds more like fear, which, as Jerry Jampolsky says, is the opposite of love. The proof of that is, how would you react if you found your spouse happier with another partner? Would you be happy for him/her, and welcome the opportunity for both of you to have a more fulfilling relationship which only happens with mutual fulfillment?

Is it true that ‘falling in love’ is what we need to be fulfilled? How long do ‘falling in love’ relationships work, and why is it that we ‘fall’ instead of ‘rise’ in love? Remember, whenever you fall, sooner or later you will hit the ground, and the longer it takes to fall, the more it hurts.

Do you really believe that you can find love in another person? Like people believe that you find contentedness in what they drink, smoke, eat and other addictions? This assumes that love is somewhere ‘out there’. When we ‘find’ it, however, it always appears that ‘something happens to spoil it all’.  Ever wondered why? Hmmm… People not wanting to take personal responsibility will immediately find blame, looking at the ‘faults’ of another and any other excuse. A good one in some countries is that a jealous other put a curse on the relationship. As an aside, the joking anecdote that women complain that the man ‘didn’t change’ (to suit her perceived needs) and that men complain that the woman ‘changed’ often holds true.

Do you really believe you are being honest or fair to yourself or a spouse by taking a solemn oath, ‘before God’, that you will ‘cleave to them, till death do you part?’ Statistics show otherwise, but of course, you are the exception

Do you believe that you are being ‘faithful’, ‘honest’, ‘good’ or ‘moral’ by sticking to your spouse when you rather wouldn’t? To whom? To your spouse? How can that be if you are not even in integrity with yourself?

Does your spouse not deserve to also be with somebody who wants her/him?

So what is so ‘moral’ about this lose-lose situation?

Do you believe that you should stay in a dysfunctional marriage for the children? (Believe it or not, many more ‘traditional’ people stay in dysfunctional marriages for many strange reasons, including some weird sense of ‘honour’ (yes, its so honourable to suffer being untrue to yourself and everyone else, isn’t it?) to please their parents, for their ‘social position’ and for fear of what ‘others may think/say’ as if they care, and as if their opinion mattered at all.) What are you teaching children by remaining in a dysfunctional marriage, other than providing a most dysfunctional environment in which to shape their young minds, and teaching them by example what kind of relationship to repeat when they grow up?

Worse still, do you think that remaining in a dysfunctional relationship is a ‘loving sacrifice’? A sacrifice is a ‘sacred fee’. Paying in some way for something more worthy. What would that be? Put another way, what difference is that from having a fetish to pay another person to beat you up?

I am not suggesting that intimate relationships are or ‘should’ be without disagreements and arguments from time to time. Provided that there is a willingness on both partners to take, not 50% of the responsibility, but jointly take 100%. However, if this is not the case, and the relationship is dominated by strife, non acceptance and blame, and an unwillingness of one or both partners to take joint responsibility, and when all else fails (rather sooner) seek independent, professional counsel, then it is best to terminate it. Since I divorced my wife (we disagree with each other’s outlook to life) we have been more loving, as we have done away with conflicting and distracting emotional issues.

While I am not promoting prostitution, who is a bigger whore? The woman who hires herself out by the hour, or the person that marries someone for life for similar reasons, i.e. material or social gratification? (who, ‘in the name of ‘love’ , made a ‘good catch’)? The same applies to people who ‘marry into’ corporate jobs, enticed and enslaved by the ‘prestige’, flattery and smart company car, but little if any quality time for themselves or their loved ones, especially their children.

By the same token. Who is the bigger ‘slut’? The one night stander (no, that doesn’t necessarily mean I promote this) or the person who engages in intimate activities out of ‘obligation’, a ‘sense of duty’ or to ‘keep’ someone or a relationship ‘going’, and not out of a genuine and heartfelt desire to share?

What do you know about love? Is it true that you can only love one person? Is it true that love and intimate relationship are exclusive and inseparable concepts? Is it true that ‘love is blind?’ Is it true that you ‘love’ your spouse? Is it true that you can ‘love’ another but not yourself? Is it true that a marriage relationship is more loving by its nature than a non marriage or non partnership relationship? Is it true that you love a person when you marry them, but not when you divorce them? If it has been suggested (and I have experienced this) that a divorce with awareness is many times more loving than most marriages how would you respond? These issues demand far more attention than what can be written in this already oversized article.

Awareness, wisdom and knowledge are all interdependent requisites to joyfully powerful living, and relationship. In this triad, knowledge is the subjective one and could thus be the deceptive one, and therefore needs to be looked at first. While it is the least powerful, it is the most pivotal.

Knowledge is based on ‘facts’. And ‘facts’ have been defined as ‘solidified opinion’. As you can see knowledge is very subjective, and constantly changes in space (local belief systems) and over time. Belief is based on our knowledge. Knowledge that the earth is flat is essential when building a house, but knowledge that it is spherical is essential for an American that wants to go to Australia, or to predict the weather. Thus inappropriate knowledge such as belief systems which we unconsciously carry over from the past no longer serve us here and now.

Especially when the most fundamental concept of Love is misunderstood as something that one gets and gives, rather than our essential nature, once stripped of fear. That is why ‘falling’ in love is the delusion that the object or person on which we reflect is the source of love. That is why it is important that we become dis-illusioned! When we understand that Love comes neither from another or even from ourselves, then we will understand how Love operates through us.

We then have the wisdom to ‘Love with an open heart and an open hand’ The hand is open, not fearfully, tightly clenched on somebody, desperately trying to hold them prisoner, and by the same token not letting anyone else in. If somebody would like to ‘sit in your hand’, they may. If they want to leave, they may. Love is what created relationship, or changes its form, not the other way round. And Love already Is. There is nothing and nobody we need. Whatever we are at any point in time naturally draws its complement (or ‘other half). Whatever intimate relationship (or absence thereof) we find ourselves at any particular point in time is the reflection of that part of us that seeks attention or completion. Stop trying to ‘get’ someone or ‘keep’ someone. Focus rather on Love (cause) than the form/person (effect) you think it should take.

Awareness is to honestly observe yourself and your responses in life generally, with a view not to judging, but taking responsibility and response-ability. Once you understand that, in honesty, you will see how Love is unconditional, but intimate relationships are conditional to a greater or lesser degree, (you are seeking to have your needs of giving and receiving met) and that if you are honest with yourself you will realize that therefore in intimate relationships consciously liking is more important than unconsciously ‘loving’ which is merely a denial of your own needs, fears and insecurities which we all to a greater or lesser degree carry with us. It is only through this realisation that we admit Love, (in the true sense of the word) to flourish through our intimate relationships. Then the benefit is not only to you, your partner and family, but has a ripple effect throughout Creation.

Apollo Pampallis is a Life Mentor and can be contacted on Apollo@discoveringthenow.com. He is establishing new web pages in an exciting new alliance. For ongoing information, upcoming webinars, consultations, ebooks and other news please contact him on the above email

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1. What’s Worse Than Being a Miser? by Apollo Pampallis A ‘mean’, stingy or miserly person is certainly sending out...
2. Forgiveness: Good People Don’t Forgive by Apollo Pampallis To prepare for this article, please read my previous posting,...
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A ‘mean’, stingy or miserly person is certainly sending out many disempowering messages. But at least he is not stealing ‘spiritual rewards’ from another, which is what a lot of ‘good’ people do in the belief that they are doing the ‘right thing’….

A miser, by clinging onto his wealth is a person ruled by fear. Fear that his personal value lies in his material wealth, and further that material wealth is limited and thus reduced when shared. Another misconception he has is that giving is material in nature and that anything given is lost. Such a ‘tight fisted’ approach by contrast not only does not save the miser material wealth or money, it loses him opportunity for making more. A closed fist cannot grasp, any more than it cannot give. The energy, whether material or not cannot use him as a conduit. Everybody knows that a pump in order to draw water well needs to be ‘primed’, and pipes need a good flow of water to pass through them to take out the air locks which cause irregularities in the flow.

Misers tend to become known, become avoided, and thus become cut off from others.

However there is a worse affliction, sinister in that it is unseen, so much so, that an English word does not even exist for this serious condition. I learnt from it as a child in South Africa. My father would often visit his friends, two brothers who owned a superette takeaway, in the evenings and take me with him.

One evening, one of the brothers, Pandeli, knowing that I had not yet had supper, asked me what he could make me to eat. I very ‘politely’ said, ‘no, nothing thank you’, at which he took off at me, calling me ‘akatadhektos’. An akatadhekto (Greek) is a person who will not accept. The height of rudeness. Refusing the hospitality/gift/gesture of another. Denying him the blessing of giving. The glow of satisfaction of having given or offered something.

A miser is miserable out of his own choice. A generous person is, however, frustrated by, or appears to be victimized by a person who denies him the opportunity, the blessing, of giving. The English language is seriously compromised by the lack of a word for this, far more serious than miserly condition/behaviour. I invite readers to come up with a word which we can submit for formal integration into the English Language, for it is only when this condition is recognized and named that one can identify it and act upon it.

When you are offered something as a gift, do not in any way feel indebted or obligated to the giver, otherwise you will negate the spirit in which it was given, knowing that, some way, some how, the giver will certainly be rewarded.

There are obviously situations where to be in integrity you would not accept a gift, for instance a tobacco product or other narcotic if you are not a user, or a meat dish if you are a vegetarian. In this case you clarify that the intent of giving is fully accepted and appreciated.

There may also be situations where the offerer is secretly hoping you wont accept the offer. In this case accept it nonetheless as the onus of insincerity is his, not yours, and by accepting you are actually helping him become more honest and sincere.

However, the non accepting of gifts is not the only situation where one may be akatadhektos.  Another, less obvious situation is providing a service and not accepting payment, or accepting less than a market related price.

One such situation where this kind of akatadhetia is common is in the area of therapy and the healing arts.

Often the argument is posited that since the therapist has a ‘God given gift’, it should not be charged, or that only donations would be accepted. However, are the arts of good carpentry, designing, architecture, book keeping, sculpting, etc, and even housecleaning not also ‘God given’? Why charge unashamedly for ‘non healing gifts’ but not for ‘healing gifts’? I know of Spiro Atteshli, (known as Daskalos) since passed away, who was a great healer in Cyprus. He refused to charge for his work, and kept a full time post office job. Had he charged for his work, he would have been able to dedicate himself full time to his healing and thus benefited many times more people a lot more. In addition, he deprived someone else of an office job. So he lost, the world lost, and a job was lost.

Accepting gifts is thus a gift in turn for the offerer. Accepting payment for a service is the same principle.

In the former example the ‘reward’ comes both in the joy of giving and the certainty that what has been given will definitely be returned, many fold, though not necessarily (in fact very seldom) by the person to whom you have given. The universe, though endless, is a closed, self contained system. Jesus said, ‘Caste your bread upon the waters’. He didn’t say that God will reward the giver, or that the giver was ‘good’. He merely stated that it would be returned ‘7×7’ times over. That’s not a bad rate of return, is it? But this only happens when the giving is done unconditionally. If it is done for purposes of prestige, return favours or showing off, this principle no longer applies, as it is no longer giving but trading.

Paying (for a good or service provided) in Greek is pleeromee , derived from pleeris,=completion.

Thus, paying is the act of completing a transaction. The interchange of energy, on the one hand in the form of a good or service, and response usually in money, or possibly in exchange for another good or service. As we have not yet evolved to the state where the result(reward) of our feelings, thoughts and actions manifest immediately (it will come in the not too distant future), payment in money or in kind. Another vital factor is that healing may not be complete unless the healing session is complete, and that happens through payment.

Further, from my own experience, free is not appreciated as much, and therefore the good or service is not utilized properly. Note for those of you who want to provide a free talk or seminar. You will have many more people attending and hardly no cancellations or no shows if you charge a nominal amount. This then becomes a (completed) contractual obligation.

This lack of exchange and its concomitant problems has entered relationships and sexuality, with most problems in these areas coming from an imbalance in give and take.

In conclusion, we see that the ability to give and to receive are merely two sides to the same transaction, the same coin, so to speak. Giving is simultaneously an act of receiving, and in the same way, receiving is simultaneously giving another an opportunity to give.

It is relationship, or in other words, giving and receiving which is the basis of all life, microcosmic to macrocosmic, what makes ecosystems and societies work. If blocked or unhealthy, it leads to a system breakdown, but if flowing healthily leads to healthy functioning. For instance a healthy exchange with microbes (small life forms) is essential to our life as a macrobe (large life form), whereas an unhealthy exchange , i.e by person who is dis-eased will create an unhealthy relationship with the microbes, which are then mistakenly blamed as the cause of illness.

It is our openness to healthy exchange to freely give, and just as freely and willingly receive, which determines our wellbeing and that of those and our environment around us.

Apollo has just scheduled his first webinar – get the details now by visiting: Receiving is Giving Webinar Event

Apollo Pampallis is a Life Mentor and can be contacted on Apollo@discoveringthenow.com. He is establishing new web pages in an exciting new alliance. For ongoing information, upcoming webinars, consultations, ebooks and other news please contact him on the above email

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2. Freedom or Death by Apollo Pampallis This is the motto of the Greek Nation. It is...
3. Don’t Fall in Love by Apollo Pampallis Is it true that you ‘love your spouse’, and cannot...

I can think of no greater encouragement than the self-evident Truth that there dwells in each of us the opportunity to explore and know the Extraordinary Life. The meaning of Extraordinary I wish to convey points to the immutable and inexhaustible source that is the secret center of each of us: a timeless resource open and available to anyone who would seek this Life that sits behind life as we know it.

Will we spend our lives in mere dreams of winning a limitless life, or will we do the inner- work of awakening from this dream? Choosing the Extraordinary Life begins with our conscious work to realize it, which the following special practices help to ensure.

1. Let Nagging Questions Go Unanswered: In stressful moments, listen to what life is trying to tell you about you instead of searching anxiously for familiar answers to make life feel “right” again. All fearful, doubt-filled moments are secret reflections of what we have yet to understand about life and ourselves, not life’s rejection of us or our wish for happiness. Choose to go consciously quiet whenever there is a riot in you. Refuse to take part in the search to repair what you fear may be coming undone. Let go and watch what happens when you consciously sacrifice the fear-filled self. This new action allows the Extraordinary Life to enter into you where its presence alone proves that all is well.

2. Don’t Make the Rescue Call: In times of anxiety and fear, we almost always call upon someone or something to help us get through our stress. This dependency on others for strength not only weakens our soul, but also steals from it the possibility of being educated by the Extraordinary Life, which means we miss two major lessons. First, the crucial lesson that all our fears are based upon false evidence that appears real. With this revelation comes our second realization that the same frightened self that seeks rescue secretly confirms its imagined condition as being real each time it cries out for help. Refusing to rescue ourselves from inner states that scare us invites the Extraordinary Life that shows us that no such scared self exists that needs saving.

3. Take the Hard Way: Rut and routine are two sides of the same sad street. Repetitive patterns are the well-worn pavement that our spiritually asleep self loves to tread while it talks us to death with its empty promises of extraordinary times “just ahead.” We can learn to do much better let ourselves be betrayed in this way, but it takes inner work! Instead of caving into the demands of those slipshod parts of ourselves always looking for the easy way out, we must choose in favor of what our false nature wants us to see as being the “hard” way. But it’s not. In fact, once we learn that the only real way out of what we would rather avoid is to go through it, we discover another self-liberating truth: the only thing that’s hard on us is when we allow our unenlightened nature to convince us that getting around something is the same as rising above it.

4. Do the Thing You Fear Doing: There is a correct time and place for thinking through practical plans in the ordinary scheme of life’s events. But nothing that is founded in thought can serve to reveal the unthinkable plans that the Extraordinary holds in store for anyone willing to leap into the moment without a parachute. Never mind those old fears of falling. Just jump! Being willing to risk failing is a prerequisite for fearless living. If you will take the leap into what you are afraid of doing, the Extraordinary Life will prove to you that Its unshakable ground is everywhere beneath you at all times. Nothing compares with this discovery because, once realized, there’s nowhere to go but up! A note of caution: taking a spiritual leap is far different from taking a reckless physical risk. Never risk the well being of your physical body for the sake of a passing thrill: for what is possible to attain with a body, cannot be without one. The temporary rush of adrenalin has nothing in common with one’s awakening to the reality of a timeless, fearless life.

5. Take Time Out from Yourself Every Day: Unseen by the self that walks upon it, thought is a treadmill powered by the movement of our yesterdays as they produce our tomorrows. This is the real meaning of “doing time.” The domain of the Extraordinary Life is Timeless. To share Its life, we must enter into Its world. Here is a good way to begin this Work: Every day, as often as can be remembered, chose to break out of that gilded, but self-confining cage called “thinking about yourself.” We live under the power of these unconscious ponderings, for when they turn dark and stormy, it is we who are left out in the cold. Even if we can only collect ourselves to meditate, pray or contemplate a Higher Idea for a few minutes at a time, we must do it anyway. These small windows — opened by our work to remember the Extraordinary Life — grant us passage into its timeless domain.

6. Open Yourself to Life: Dare to see and experience yourself as you are without giving names to all the varied emotional sensations that present themselves before your watchful inner eyes. Allow the meaning of whatever states you see coming up in you to reveal their actual nature to you. Resist the temptation to interrupt their upwelling by explaining to yourself what you are experiencing. Have no intention toward these thoughts and feelings other than to be open to them and, in doing so, to permit them their uninterrupted passage through you. Why open up to life in this way? For one thing, this gives negative states the back door they need to depart. For another, the Extraordinary Life is very possessive. It will not enter any zone marked “occupied.”

7. Make No Campsites: The Extraordinary Life visits individuals, not groups or organizations. It strengthens the soul willing to be alone for its sake. Keep your distance from people who insist that you believe as they do, who hope to convince you that the reality they have satisfied themselves with should satisfy you as well. These deceivers want only to keep you in their unreal camp. Never mind who is walking with you and who isn’t. Be wary of any campsite — inner or outer — with its bright “welcome weary traveler” sign. Most of these campers desire your company so that they can forget they are going nowhere. Walk on! Your persistence is an open invitation to the Extraordinary Life to show you the Way back home.

(Excerpted from Let Go and Live in the Now, Weiser Books)

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Guy Finley is the best-selling author of The Secret of Letting Go, The Essential Laws of Fearless Living, and 35 other works that have sold over a million copies in 18 languages worldwide. His work has been featured on hundreds of radio and TV networks including NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, NPR, and PBS. Guy has spent the last 30 years showing individuals the authentic path to a higher life filled with happiness, success, and true love. Finley lives and teaches in Merlin, Oregon where he is Director of non-profit Life of Learning Foundation.

For more information visit www.guyfinley.org, and receive your free Guy Finley Starter Kit. You get several free downloadable gifts including a special newsletter filled with helpful insights and encouragement emailed to your desktop once each week.

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Evolution Ezine may receive a commission if you buy through one of the links – these proceeds help keep the Evolution Ezine free.  Thanks for your continued support.

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A great sage once defined enlightened spiritual beingness as sleeping when you are tired, eating when you are hungry, and relieving yourself when needed.  Far away from the citadels of academia, out in the rural Mediterranean countryside, there stood the Great Teacher, a donkey braying loudly, announcing his ‘call to nature’ for all to hear. Nobody had to tell him that. He knew it already, as he looked compassionately at us foolish humans, always trying to ‘prove’ ourselves, especially in the conveniently nondescript area of ‘spirituality’.

When the Dalai Lama was asked the road to enlightenment, he answered with a twinkle in his eye, that he’ll tell once he finds out, first, what enlightenment is, and then how to get there.

As succinctly stated by Neal Walsh, we are not physical beings having a spiritual experience, but spiritual beings having a physical experience. It therefore follows that nobody can be any more or less ‘spiritual’ than anybody else.

Yet so many people define themselves as ‘spiritual’, not realizing that it is nothing but their ego based intellect which so defines them as opposed to ‘others’.  Spirituality has nothing at all to do with what we think of ourselves, whether we believe in non conformist, ‘new age’ or eastern doctrines, chant, take on ‘interesting’ names, are ‘alternative people’, walk around in a turban doing tarot readings, are ‘sensitive’, do healing work, use crystals, etc…

Behind the mask of most self ordained ‘spiritual people’ is most often a depressed person struggling to cope with the physical world in which they live.

Thus ‘spirituality’ is a good cop out.

I once met an old peasant in rural Cyprus, ploughing his field with a cow, deliberately instead of using a tractor.

He was in awe of me with my degrees and teaching in S.Africa, U.K and USA.

It is true, I may have had a great deal of ‘knowledge’. But his connection with the earth, his open heart, and great wisdom, uncluttered by the contamination of (true today, false tomorrow,) ‘knowledge’ brought tears to my eyes (not bad for one who claims to have forgotten how to cry). He didn’t know about being spiritual. Or materialistic, for that matter. Or about ‘meditation’, as he with great awareness guided his plough. Yet he was the epitome of it all. Eating the last fig on his tree was a ‘holy communion’ for me. In a sense it was the last supper, for soon after, he was gone, and on the same field stood the vulgar tourist trappings of the new Ayianapa seaside resort.

Happiness is not something that can be pursued. Like a butterfly it flits away, until, when you are still and at peace, it sits on your shoulder.

Humility is also a concept unknown by one who is truly humble.

Love is a state of Beingness which enters, fills and radiates from one who stops trying to ‘love’ as if it is something that comes from him and thus something he can ‘do’. Love and Life creates and uses us, not vice versa.

The same applies to spirituality. It is not something that we can define or lay claim to. The moment we do that we cut off our awareness. Contrastly, by cultivating awareness, simply awareness, without the bells and whistles of any teaching, dogma or label, we become in touch with our intrinsic spiritual nature.

The old man did not need any meditation or ‘earthing’ techniques or theories about ‘being in the now’ to choose to walk barefoot ploughing behind his cow, as he focused on guiding the metal toe of his plough the correct depth, in a straight line, and firmly, as a slip could easily cut the tendon on the cows heel.

Maybe it is difficult, impossible, not of your choosing, or even not a good idea to try and get a piece of rural land and a cow. But in the here and now of where we are, we can earth ourselves and can focus on being in the present.

Starting off by forgetting about ‘being’ anything other than who we are, where we are, right now. However, unlike the wise peasant, we are so overwhelmed by foolish ‘knowledge’, our ‘education’ (meaning channeled into a pipe) and the poisons of the media assaulting us wherever we go, even in our own homes (tv, newspapers, magazines, internet, junk mail, etc) with messages of inadequacy and worshipping the idols of matter (advertisements) or fear (the ‘news’) and gossip (much of it in magazines) it no longer comes naturally.

So, the first step is to look at all the ‘information’ we are bombarded with and question whether it serves our wellbeing or not, consciously adopting what feels good in our body and what does not. Watching the ‘news’ on TV for instance may be an addiction, but, as with all addictions, does it make you feel better, stronger, more joyful? If not, switch it off. Awareness. The access to your own spirituality. Your own power. And then, with the help of a suitably trained ‘outsider’, look at other areas of unconsciousness, one by one.

Yes, there is a higher plane, a spiritual plane, a First Cause, the Creative Principle (which we can explore another time), but as we are manifest in this lower physical resonance we need to bring this awareness to our everyday physical life. In a practical way. If you choose to cloak it in some spiritual, religious or other dogma/doctrine, go ahead, but don’t use it as an excuse to deny your day to day living issues, or as something you do on Saturdays or Sundays for a couple of hours and then return to the ‘real world’ . Such ‘spiritual/material’ dualism is not spiritual, as a truly spiritual approach is in fact the most practical, effective approach to living, and the most effective way to conduct your material, day to day life is spiritually based. Especially don’t choose to use a ‘spiritual’, religious, ‘new age’ or other dogmatic practice/label to segregate you or your sect from ‘everyone else,’ who unlike you, ‘is doing it wrong’. This has the opposite of the desired effect, cutting you off precisely from what you seek, your own true spiritual nature, (and guaranteed to bring you great suffering) which is One with All that unites all humanity, indeed all of Life and all that Is.

It is virtually if not impossible to look through and shed enough mental garbage which has embedded itself deeply in our DNA, our blood, our every cell ourselves.  We need another, ‘outside’ perspective. That is why we all need a mentor, someone who can look through our ‘stuff’ and see us in a way we can’t see ourselves. While in my work, I am a mentor to people throughout the world over the internet, I too have a mentor, as a teacher is only as good as he is also a student. It just so happens that this professional life mentor is also being mentored by me. This co-counselling by professionals is entirely possible at the level of life mentorship, but not possible at the level of ‘psychotherapy’, in which I was previously involved.

Select a mentor, one mentor, and start your exciting journey, to discover your unique place in the Wholeness of the Creation which in turn brings you the dynamic wholeness that you seek.

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Apollo Pampallis is a Life Mentor and can be contacted on Apollo@discoveringthenow.com. He is establishing new web pages in an exciting new alliance. For ongoing information, upcoming webinars, consultations, ebooks and other news please contact him on the above email

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Here’s a true idea that rarely occurs to us. There is a greater potential in what we don’t yet know about this life of ours than there is in what we’ve already seen about it.

This great undiscovered territory–this “darkness” within us–is there for a distinctly Divine purpose: it exists as it does to serve the Light that reveals it; for in each such revelation there is a simultaneous realization and release of a new order of consciousness. There is such beauty in this idea, for it speaks to the possibility of a continual rebirth within us. What this means is that currently we don’t yet see “problems” for what they really are: a part of the Light within us that we have yet to perceive! Any thought or feeling that troubles us in mind or heart, any fear or worry, is like a candle not yet lit. What purpose has any flame or light–in any form we may find it–other than to enter into and transform what is dark into more of itself?

For instance, maybe we turn around one day and find ourselves caught in the dark grip of some kind of fear. Perhaps we see the one we love “looking the other way”; maybe a phone call delivers uncertain news about our deteriorating health; or someone tells us about a forthcoming change at work that threatens our sense of security.

In moments such as these, our future grows as dark and full of the loneliness, worry, and loss we see coming our way. But our lives need not be swallowed up in unconscious servitude to this kind of suffering. We have another choice if we will only dare be still and be the Light. Here now are some ways to practice realizing the truth of your Self. Each case begins with remembering to make the new choice that follows:

* Instead of surrendering yourself to its punishing presence, bring your loneliness into the Light of your Self. If you will remain there within your awareness of this “darkness”,  here’s what you’ll see take place before your inner eyes: the fear of being alone will be transformed into the contentment of knowing that you have never been without the love that you long for. You will see that a tenderness beyond words lives within the Light you have embraced.

* Bring your fear and worry about “tomorrow” into the Light of your Self. Remain there in your awareness of these frightening shadows, and here’s what will unfold before your inner eyes: you’ll watch these dark doubts dissolve into anunquestioned knowing that no time to come has power over the peace of being in the present moment. You will see that serenity is one with the life of the Light you have chosen to be.

*When visited by some sense of loss or emptiness, bring it into the Light of your Self. Remain quietly attentive to how that dark state wants to drag you into its world, even as you hold it in your awareness, and you’ll see a miracle take place before your inner eyes: that feeling of being forsaken will be transformed into the fullness of knowing that who you really are is wholeness itself. For your willingness to be inwardly watchful, you will see that the Light of your Self reaches everywhere in the universe . . . so how could you ever be alone? All that lives . . . lives within the Light of your Self.

After many years of talking to aspirants about being the Light instead of searching for what they think they need to deal with their dark states, I have found there is one main reason most people won’t take the leap of releasing their fears into the Light that lives within them. They profess a love of the Light, but whenever an unwanted moment appears, and they look into its unknown abyss . . . they see no Light there, only darkness. Then comes an immediate resistance, and darkness rules the day. Let me shed some light on this problem. Things are not always as they are seen.

Do you recall the wonderful characters in The Wizard of Oz? Along with Dorothy–who was trying to find her way back home–there was the scarecrow, the tin man, and the cowardly lion: her compatriots on the journey to see the great wizard who would grant each of them their most fervent wish.

The scarecrow wanted a brain, a mind with which to reason and know the truth of things. The tin man hoped for a heart to beat in his hollow tin chest, so that by its warmth and rhythmic beating he would know the presence of the love for which he longed; and the cowardly lion wanted courage to face his fears, to meet any form of darkness with what it takes to defeat it. By the end of the story–largely as a result of what they go through because of their love for Dorothy–each makes this glad discovery: the very quality of character for which they had gone out searching was already living within them!

So it is with us: we have forgotten that who we really are cannot be made a captive of any dark condition any more than a sunbeam can be caught and held in a bottle.

Our True Self is success itself, in every meaning of the word, because by its Light it fulfills and liberates all that it touches.

Never mind all the voices you’ll no doubt hear shouting at you the first time you decide to be the Light of your Self. That which is dark does not go gently through being made new and bright. So there is work involved. But the Light we realize within us never fails; it literally carries us above whatever mountain is before us by revealing it to be nothing other than what we had yet to see about ourselves.

We cannot control the way the world turns, we cannot change day into night, we cannot keep what is not ours; and we cannot hide these facts from ourselves, no matter how hard we try. But what we are given to do, and that turns out to be the one power of ours truly capable of transforming the whole of life, is that we can choose–moment to moment–to be the Light of our Self. We are created as co-creators of all that we can be conscious of within ourselves. It is our right to be in relationship with only those powers whose presence serves our chosen purpose in life

. . . which is to be one with the Light.

(Excerpted from The Essential Laws of Fearless Living, Weiser Books)

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Guy Finley is the best-selling author of The Secret of Letting Go, The Essential Laws of Fearless Living, and 35 other works that have sold over a million copies in 18 languages worldwide. His work has been featured on hundreds of radio and TV networks including NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, NPR, and PBS. Guy has spent the last 30 years showing individuals the authentic path to a higher life filled with happiness, success, and true love. Finley lives and teaches in Merlin, Oregon where he is Director of non-profit Life of Learning Foundation.

For more information visit www.guyfinley.org, and receive your free Guy Finley Starter Kit. You get several free downloadable gifts including a special newsletter filled with helpful insights and encouragement emailed to your desktop once each week.

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Evolution Ezine may receive a commission if you buy through one of the links – these proceeds help keep the Evolution Ezine free.  Thanks for your continued support.

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To prepare for this article, please read my previous posting, Why Gratitude, What You Haven’t Been Told.

Forgiveness is probably the most misunderstood concept of the last few thousand years, and thus the cause of endless suffering, from devastating wars to wretched lives and life destroying illnesses. If just this article alone were to be accepted by 1/10 of the population, the world would instantly, miraculously, literally become a ‘heaven on earth’.

Every one of us has been in situations where we feel that we have been wronged, whether by an individual, a group, a social system, or even by God.

And every one of us has been tempted to see ourselves as victims. Nearly all of us have then felt anger, and most of us have sought revenge, either directly or indirectly. Others have harboured the poisonous feelings within, often fantacizing or simply wishing ill on the other, or even deciding on behalf of some punishing God that that person will be punished.

Yet others of us decide that as ‘good’ people/Christians/Buddhists or whatever we believe is good, that we should forgive the thief, murderer, rapist or other perpetrator of their deed. After all, those are the teachings of Jesus Christ, as well as other great teachers throughout time and earth space.

Yes, forgiveness has been taught, but those that taught it did not intend forgiveness to be in any way linked with goodness, kindness or even love.  Not directly, in any case. In fact, the greatest teachers who taught forgiveness were beyond such judgmental polarities of ‘good’ and ‘bad’, warning of the dangers of judgment, regardless whether of self, another or companions.

Forgiveness is not to be linked to “Goodness”

Let’s see what happens when you try to be a good person, Christian, or ‘good’ whatever by ‘forgiving’. This ‘forgiving’ involves certain basic assumptions, the first that you are ‘good’, and the other, ‘bad’, The second, more fundamental one is that you are a victim, a victim of another, or of fate, ‘karma’ or some other victimizing force which has singled you out. Not, as you truly are, a co-creator of your Life Circumstances.

What then is forgiveness, its purpose, and its benefits?

Forgiveness, to put it simply, is the act of refusing to invest time and energy in a person or circumstance that you see as being outside of your-self. This frees your energy to focus instead on promoting your own joy unconditionally.

In order to do this requires, nay, demands one thing; the unremitting commitment to be fully powerful and self determining. Not giving any of your power away.

Many people foolishly think that revenge is the ‘manly/strong/honourable’ way of putting grievances right. In light of our path we can see it is the precise opposite. Revenge is the total delegation of power to another, to the extent of creating even further turbulence in your life, with con-sequences (con=with), whether legal, psycho-spiritual, counter revenge or all of these which could not only affect you, but your family and others who care for you.

Revenge is the Total Delegation of Power to Another

Road rage is a simple fast developing example, where many a traffic indiscretion has started a sequence from cursing to somebody being killed. How do you respond when someone commits a traffic indiscretion? Have you noticed the state of your body, your heartbeat, blood pressure your expression, your driving ability, your behaviour etc, when you react indignantly, as opposed to just driving on, retaining your peace and composure? Notice how you drive when you drive in a hurry or bad mood compared to when you feel serene.

If you have read the article on gratitude and are now reading this one, would it be fair to assume that you are by implication accepting that we are co responsible, in a conscious or unconscious way, for our life circumstances?

By this definition, when we find ourselves being challenged to forgive, is it not ourselves who we are finding it difficult to forgive? Just as we have projected enough self dislike to create someone that acts out our self punishment, is our issue with forgiveness not merely an unwillingness to forgive ourselves, again projected outwards? The Course of Miracles goes as far as to categorically state that All forgiveness is self forgiveness, and, at an even deeper level, if we are truly non judgmental, of ourselves in particular, there is nothing to forgive!

All Forgiveness is Self Forgiveness

Being forgiving and acknowledging that every incident in everybody’s life is a self created reflection does not mean that we remain passive when we see what we perceive to be an injustice to ourselves or another. At the ‘now’ moment of it occurring, we are entitled to do what we can, in relation to the perceived threat, to stop it. No more. (the principle of ‘justifiable force’)

It is not for us to punish if we choose to remain centered in our power (rather than externally reactive). Remember that re (en) activity goes on in perpetuity until you choose to stop it, and the earlier the easier, less painful and better. ‘Vendettas’, from an inter family dispute to a national and international level have self perpetuated long after the initial grievance has been forgotten even amongst total strangers on opposite sides of the earth!.

This repetitiveness is exactly what happens when we do not take personal responsibility for our lives. When we give our power away. We will beat up (literally or figuratively) our perceived enemy, only to create another one. Or marry yet another abusive spouse after divorcing the previous one.

However, as soon as we truly for-give, we give for ourselves the freedom from this condition. We end the cycle of setting ourselves up in this way, having taken response-ability. We change. We change the people we attract. We change the way they relate (reflect) to us, the way we relate to them, and the way we respond. Always self centered. To quote Cyndi Krupp, forgiveness is the ultimate in selfishness.

When We Forgive, We Free Our-Selves. It is the Ultimate in Selfishness

You may now ask. ‘What about the law?’ Should I not challenge someone legally if I feel that I have been wronged? Should I not testify in court in a criminal case?

The answer to that is that legal consequences are part of the implied agreement of us living in a society, and have nothing to do with forgiveness.

Should you consider filing a suit against someone, consider the cost versus possible benefits and entrust the lawyer to fight the case. Separate your issue from the accused. The accused is merely the agent. Be selfish enough as to not disperse your energy to the accused. Be selfish enough to be forgiving, dispassionate. Be in the here and Now. Let go of all attachment to the outcome.

The example of the traumatized girls in the previous article is a perfect example. Their attitudinal healing and subsequent forgivingness led to a life far more powerful and joyful than before the traumatic event, to the extent that, given the choice, they categorically stated that, given the chance, they would not erase the event as part of their lives.

I am not promising you that you will find forgivingness easy. I am, however promising you that it is well worth the effort, and will result in life lived powerfully and joyfully, and (thus unavoidably) to the ultimate benefit of all.

The choice is yours….

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Another excerpt on the art of living from an upcoming book by Apollo (more to follow)

Apollo Pampallis, Therapist and Philosopher, can be contacted at apollo@discoveringthenow.com or by leaving him a comment below…

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