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How Can I Balance Myself When I Am Affected By Everything? Part 1 by Joel Bruce Wallach

When you feel that you are reacting to everything, your body and mind have become confusingly entangled. You have created a tension loop where your body and mind give each other negative signals.

Your body feels tense because you are verbally repeating your fears to yourself. The body responds to your thoughts by generating physical tension. And then, when your mind senses the tension building in the body, your mind generates even more negative self-talk. That makes your body even more tense. And so the loop continues…

Don’t blame yourself — this is a moment of empowerment, where you take charge of a tension loop that is of your own making.

You may think that the emotions and thoughts that you so strongly feel are the only natural responses that you can have to the situations in your world. This is the limited thinking that keeps you stuck in the tension trap.

Freeing yourself from the tension requires recognizing that you created your own emotionally unbalanced pattern. Why is it empowering to recognize this? Because if you created the situation, then you can choose a more balanced response to your experiences.

First, really understand how you became trapped in the tension loop.

The trap was caused by your own endlessly repeated, verbal descriptions of your world — your self-talk. You generated your own dramatic descriptions of your self and your situation. And when your body felt tense in response to your words, you became even more enmeshed in your problems.

But, you may protest, the problems really did happen. Yes, they did indeed, but this is not a denial of the events that occurred. In fact, your basic descriptions of the events that have occurred could be accurate.

However, your verbal interpretations of these events are needlessly dramatic, and this is where you have some control of the situation. You can explore using neutral descriptions of situations, rather than heightened dramatic terms and emotionally charged interpretations of reality. You can choose your words, because you are speaking and thinking them. They are yours to shape as you consciously choose.

When you examine your choices of verbal descriptions, and shift the dramatic words and scenarios into more neutral descriptions, then your body and mind can begin to achieve balance. This neutral atmosphere creates more space for your deeper spiritual wisdom to manifest. This creates a new healthy pattern where the body and mind are in deeper harmony.

Here are examples of dramatic language, changed into neutral language. The first example is dramatic, the second is neutral:

1. I lost my job, and this is terrible.

1. I lost my job, and I am looking for a new job.

2. He left me, and I can’t stand it.

2. He left me, and I am still a good person.

3. They were rude to me, and it’s terrible when that happens.

3. They behaved childishly, and I choose to be around people who are more supportive.

Now you can explore neutral self-talk for yourself. Take any situation that you are reacting to. Write down the way that you have been describing it.

Are you starting to recognize the blame, the judgmental tone, and the dramatic descriptions in what you wrote? Compare what you have written to the examples above. Now take a breath, and explore rewriting your description. Here are some things to check for:

1. Shift strong judgments about other people into neutral terms. Shift from blame to neutral descriptions of events.

2. Shift helpless descriptions of you into empowered descriptions. Emphasize your true abilities and your deeper potential, so that you support your moving forward in a healthy way.

3. Shift negative assessments about the world. Aim yourself towards the people in the world who do believe in you, and who are supportive of you.

Now read what you rewrote. And discover how you are breathing, and how you feel in your body. You are beginning to get a sense of how you can balance yourself, even when you seem to be affected by everything.

Congratulations — you are rediscovering your ability to choose your states of consciousness, even amidst everything that is happening.

In part two of this article, we explore deep centering meditations that further support you in learning to balance yourself.

Many Blessings,

Joel Bruce Wallach

Founder, Cosmic Living – spiritual instruction – tele-classes and home-study mp3′s

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5 Responses to “How Can I Balance Myself When I Am Affected By Everything? Part 1 by Joel Bruce Wallach”

  1. Leila says:

    Hi Joel, I loved your article. It’s full of things I’m thinking about at the moment. Making statements about what you consider reality in a neutral way defuses emotions it’s true and I find it very useful to do this. Thanks.

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  2. Leila says:

    P.S. Is it OK do you think to be dramatic sometimes about situations or is that just forming bad habits?

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  3. Hi Leila,

    If you choose to be dramatic, do it for a specific, positive intended purpose. For instance, if you are writing a story, naturally you want it to have the appropriate amount of drama. Or, if you are promoting something, then a little drama helps to bring some excitement to that project.

    Unfortunately, most people who are promoting something dramatically are only promoting their own victim status. They do this to convince themselves that they really are victims, and they attempt to convince others that they really deserve sympathy.

    Given this, you’d better have an excellent reason, leading in a good direction, if you are using drama.



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  4. Margie says:

    I really see myself in your answer to Leila! It’s a moment of truth, for sure. However, it is the truth that sets (me) free! In reviewing my conversations with others over the past several months over a family situation, I see where it was an attempt to gain sympathy for my pain. Thanks Joel for the enlightenment today and how to get out of this loop!

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  5. [...] How Can I Balance Myself When i Am Affected by Everything – Part 2 by Joel Bruce Wallach In part one of this article, you discovered how your verbal descriptions of reality create a tension loop that affects your emotional and mental state. [...]

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