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Ask Cyndi – I Just Stop Trying

I am quite capable but I find that I am so overwhelmed by the uncertainty of whether I can succeed at the projects I want to move forward with that I get actually paralyzed. I fear that I will be judged as being foolish for what I am trying to do and by the fear that I will fail and be judged for that too. I am confident that I have the ability, but I throw road blocks or I just stop trying. Any suggestions?

Hi Steve;

Oh how I wanted to give you just the perfect answer – the one that will dissolve all roadblocks and keep you forever motivated.

I wanted to so badly that I sat in front of the keyboard – my head full of different directions to take my answer – and nothing, I mean nothing, showed up on the screen.

So I stopped – took a few breathes – closed my eyes and asked the question I have found to be the best in circumstances such as this…

“What is the Best Thing I Can Do In This Moment?”

And then I left the computer for awhile and within an hour I had what I thought was a great answer and I sat and got it all down – was almost finished when…

I hit a key and the entire post disappeared – gone, poof, absolutely nothing but the letter “t” left on the screen – and nothing I did would bring it back.

As demotivating as that initially felt after awhile I decided that there must be more – so I walked away from answering your question and moved on to other things.

And now, well Now I believe I have an answer for you much more in line with the Universe’s desire (that is – assuming the screen doesn’t go blank again, fingers crossed…)

Life is not measured in how many projects you complete – or even how many you start…

You are not graded by the books you write or the businesses you begin or the number of people you have “healed”

There are no grades…

And what you did yesterday doesn’t matter – and what occurs tomorrow isn’t relevant.

The only space you have any power is in the Present Moment – in this Moment Now

So – ask yourself  “What is the Best thing I Can Do in this Moment Now?” and then do it

It really is as simple as all of that  and I could end this answer now and feel like it is complete – except that I still have some “remnants” of that perfect answer that came to me yesterday and – for what they are worth – I would like to summarize them here…

1) It was only a few years ago that I realized that just because I started a book didn’t mean I had to finish it.  What a relief to discover that if I wasn’t enjoying the read I could put it down and begin another – or – better yet – I could skip to the end.   Just because a project is started doesn’t mean it has to be completed.   Consider that possibility that you aren’t finishing these projects because they aren’t quite yet the projects that satisfy your soul – that are your reasons for being.  Learn from them what you can and then let them go…

2) Until about 5 years ago I thought the joy in playing games was the win.  I was all about following the rules and keeping score and getting that sense of satisfaction from winning the hand or taking down the opponent.  It wasn’t until I sat down to play a game of dice with, among others, my dear friend Missy, that I learned differently.  Missy taught me how to cheat – only to her it wasn’t cheating.  Missy was all about bringing laughter into the game – about having fun in the moment and doing whatever came to her at the time.  She never once cared about the “score”.  I never laughed so hard during any game before – and I never looked at a board game, or cards, or dice, in the same way again.

Which is all another way of saying it is what you are doing with this moment now that matters – not the ultimate goal.

3) This “caring about what other people think” issue is at the root of what keeps so many of us stuck – and when you choose to let it go then you can begin to really have fun putting yourself out there – making mistakes – laughing at yourself – and then putting yourself out there again.  The following is an exercise I use based upon The Sedona Method teachings….

* Take a few breathes and center yourself (I always begin with the breath).  Take a moment to feel yourself in your body.

*Now welcome wanting other people’s approval as much as you do.  Allow yourself to feel what it feels like to want another’s approval  (if it is a specific person insert their name, if its a group name the group, if its yourself then use that)  Really feel what it feels like without resistance or wanting to change it.

*Now resist wanting other people’s approval.  Resist it as much as you can, as much as you ever have.  Really feel what it feels like to want to change this caring what other people think.

*And then let it all go – just drop the wanting, drop the resisting and breathe

* And then repeat from the beginning – each time paying attention to how you feel – physically, emotionally, mentally.

I feel this exercise very physically – I can feel the energy move through my body – I can feel the constriction the resistance causes – and I can feel the opening that occurs when I drop it.  Whether you feel it physically or not, with each repeat of the process you will be removing another layer of your “wanting approval” and after a time what you will feel is…


About Ask Cyndi

To learn more about me and  a little bit about my motivation  see…Why Ask Cyndi

The questions that I answer will be published in the ezine and an email will also be sent to the person who asked the question.  I initially thought that I wouldn’t use real names in my reply – but the energy wasn’t quite right (I sit in presence with everyone I communicate with)- so unless requested otherwise I will use your first name in the response.

My plan is to publish new questions about once a week – so check back often

Please use the comment section at the end of post to share your thoughts on the question and the response.  We are a Community that is growing in Love and Light in every moment – and our combined intention for the Highest and Best can and will move mountains :-)

To submit your own question to Ask Cyndi  send an email to cyndi(at)evolutionezine.com and include “Ask Cyndi” in the subject heading.  In the response I will use your first name (unless requested otherwise) but your email address will remain confidential

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8 Responses to “Ask Cyndi – I Just Stop Trying”

  1. Leila says:

    I agree with your answer to Steve’s question. Realizing that you will probably find it easier AND do better work by playing and letting go of fearful judgements is the way to go. I find though that I by the next time I want to write/draw/do something creative I have forgotten my resolve and the old procrastinations reassert themselves. What I need is some kind of ritual that I do anytime I feel the urge to create something that will get me into that happy state of mind. Then, all I need to do is remember to do the ritual. Can you help me? Thanks.

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  2. AdminCyndi says:

    Hi Leila;

    How about using what was suggested above…

    A Few centering breathes followed by the question…

    “What is the Best Thing I Can Do in This Moment?”

    And then a few more breathes as you allow the answer – and the feeling that comes with it – to enter you.

    For me – anyway – this always makes me feel connected – which leaves me feeling happy :)

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  3. Apollo says:

    Cyndi always writes from the heart, and thus can never be ‘wrong’.
    A very insightful approach and reminder for us all to recentre ourselves and not give our power away to ‘externalities’ (including circumstance, other people and what we believe may be their opinions) Her exercise of becoming aware and releasing our displaced power (need for approval and fear of disapproval) is liberating and empowering for times (and they are many) when one may be tempted to give away their power in this way.
    Stick around fro many more useful insights!

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  4. Sandi says:

    Hi Cyndi,

    Thanks for your input – I always enjoy your newsletter. This exercise was interesting cos it is simple. I am a world class procrastinator, I was once a perfectionist too but I am a bit better now. So to have something that is quick, easy and simple to do is gr8. I could not believe how ‘loose’ I felt after doing the exercise. I have problems with anything and everything so to have such a quick and simple, immediate exercise to try and combat my inertia. Thank you – thank you – thank you.

    Love light and harmony Sandi

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  5. [...] Cyndi – Internal Gridlock In your response to Steve, you described sitting in front of computer, wanting so badly to give him the perfect answer, and [...]

  6. Nickie says:

    I agree with Apollo very insightful.

    Thank You!!!

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  7. james says:

    Hi Cindi,
    I have been going to my local healing centre every week and every now and again i get messages from the angels thru my healer,which was to let go of expectations of meditation,i then realised that my in-box was full of e-mails from people who want to sell me BWE products i was bogged down with it all.
    So now the only e-mails i open now is evolution ezine and Dr robert anthony’s in which is enough info for anybody to take on,and i also feel more organised.I have a question,my healer has told me that my energy chakras are getting stronger and that i unknowingly pass on energy to my healer,she is very alive after our sessions,is this a good practise,or should i find a way of keeping my energy?

    Love and Peace James

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  8. AdminCyndi says:

    Hi James;

    So glad you are benefiting from the ezine – it is a bit of a passion of ours and our joy is in service :-)

    I guess in order to really answer your question I would have to ask you a question…

    How do you feel after a session with your healer? If you are feeling more alive and energized then I would like to suggest that perhaps you are not giving anything up – but that the two of you together are connecting to a higher vibrational field during your sessions and are both allowing more energy to flow.

    If you are drained after the session then something is indeed off and should be addressed

    Sending Much Joy Your Way

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