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Why Gratitude? What You Haven’t Been Told by Apollo Pampallis

Lots of people write books on what they call gratitude, on how, if you appreciate what you have, you will get more. Though true, it has nothing to do with gratitude at all. It is a completely different principle, that of getting more of whatever you focus on. Gratitude is far more fundamental than that!

So then what is gratitude? First, let’s discuss what it is not…

Gratitude is not something you think and decide about. In particular it is not what you do in response to your life situation, irrespective however wonderful, non-descript or horrifying it might be.

Gratitude is a state of Beingness. An Attitude. It is actually an abbreviation of ‘Great Attitude’/Gr(e)atitude. The Attitude of Greatness. Or, if we are to playfully Americanize it, it’s what makes the ‘Great I dude’ ;-) .

Jesus was in a state of Gratitude His whole life, even while nailed to the cross. And Victor Frankl was too, after finding his post graduate studies in and practice in Freudian psychoanalysis meaningless. He also felt gratitude at the most trying time of his life while in a concentration camp. No more, no less. At a time when he saw his own religious leaders denounce God in dismal resignation.

If what I write is true, then to fully understand the condition of gratitude, we must also discuss its opposite. What do you think it is? Take a moment to write it down before proceeding. You may be surprised by what you learn here.

Gratitude is a condition whereby you stop resisting, stop fighting, with life, with yourself. It starts with unconditional Acceptance. And then it goes a step further. It is a positive response to the passive act of acceptance. It is an acknowledgment that you, in *your omnipotence, have created precisely the conditions you find yourself in. That you have created a world which perfectly reflects all that is beautiful, and also all that is not so beautiful in your soul.

As such, it is a condition of acknowledging and regaining your own power, your own response-ability to what you have reflected in your material life and surroundings, your world. The Greek word for gratitude is eu-nomos-yne, literally means the “Good Law (of) ‘Is’ness or Being. So being in the state of gratitude puts you in sync with this Universal ‘Way it Is’, which in religious terms is One with God, or At-one-ment.

To clarify further, as a ‘Way to Be’, gratitude is not, and cannot be a judgment, so whatever circumstances you find yourself in , you can chose to be in gratitude, or to quote a nun I saw on TV ‘‘Whatever happens, whether the most joyous occasion, or greatest tragedy, I always say ‘Thank God’”. Naïve, or wise?

The biggest mistake people make is to confuse gratitude with gratefulness. I am not suggesting that you express gratefulness to the person who rapes you, robs you or hurts you in any way. Or that you should tip the rude waiter out of guilt. But if you learn to separate non judgmental, inner gratitude from judgmental, outwardly directed gratefulness, then you will unlock the key to your own power, first to deal in a life enhancing way with the painful experience you have endured, and subsequently, to open the way to creating, this time with conscious awareness which is in turn reflected in ‘better’ life circumstances.

Briefly contrasted, gratefulness is a response, gratitude is causal. The extent to which you focus on the former is the extent to which you respond to your circumstances. The extent to which you focus on the latter is the extent to which you create them.

But you don’t have to be in the blissful, powerful state of gratitude. There is, as always, a choice. ONE other choice, and one only.

What did you write down as the opposite of Gratitude?

In truth, it is victimhood. That is the opposite, one and only way of being, other than gratitude. It is the state whereby you deny your own responsibility, both in creating, by reflection, the life condition you have attracted, and your response-ability, rather than reflex, unconscious re-action to it. Or put another way, not being the consciously causative agent in your life, but living in the effect of your unconsciousness.

I have counseled more than one woman who had been a personal victim in a violent crime. When they were able to turn from the state of victimhood into one of unconditional gratitude to life itself they became free and powerful. It was a hard choice to make, but once made benefited not only their own lives but the lives of everyone they touched.

And whether or not you believe that Jesus arose from the cross, He is more alive now, two thousand years later than He would have been had He not been crucified, OR if he had allowed himself to be a victim. Likewise, Victor Frankl, in deep gratitude, inspired everyone in the concentration camp, Jew and German alike, touching all their lives profoundly, and left a legacy of psychology books all should read (to begin I suggest Man’s Search for Meaning – which you can purchase on Amazon by clicking here).

Each one of us, to a greater or lesser extent, more or less times, has felt that s/he has been ‘wronged’.

It is for you to decide whether to continue resisting the ‘way it is’, in victim-hood, and with this ‘hood’ smother your awareness, or exercise your freedom (divine right) to choose, and to remain in a state of gratitude.

To continue fighting the stormy waves of Life, to re(en)act, denying your power of response-ability to your painful experiences (while pain is at times inevitable, suffering is a choice). To be dumped continuously, helplessly, one wave after another, until you drown.

Or learn to Live Life with Gratitude, unconditional anticipation and enth(eo)usiasm (meaning God-filled), of the waves, and to surf on their crests.

What has been your experience with Gratitude?  Have you found yourself able, for moments or longer, to spend time in this Divine Space?  We would love to learn of your experiences – and for inspiring us with your stories we will gratefully randomly choose several commentors to receive a gift from our store.

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Apollo Pampallis, Therapist and Philosopher, can be contacted at apollo@discoveringthenow.com or by leaving him a comment below…

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56 Responses to “Why Gratitude? What You Haven’t Been Told by Apollo Pampallis”

  1. Dr. Nelson says:

    This is by far the most profound article I have ever read on gratitude.

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  2. Heather says:

    Wonderful article and great timing! I so needed to read this today, after experiencing a huge disappointment yesterday, I’m reminded that I don’t have to suffer. I do have the power to change my life in the ways I want it changed without fighting the way it is….Thanks for posting this!

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  3. Thank you Apollo! I loved this article, so clarifying for me. Such an empowering article. I am sharing this with a friend who just last week was questioning the difference in the feelings of gratitude and appreciation. We were very close to this in our discussion, how exciting! Blessings!

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  4. Leila says:

    Did you get my message?

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  5. RAMONA says:

    GOD BLESS YOU! AND THANK YOU FOR THIS INSIGHT ARTICLE

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  6. Leila says:

    My messages aren’t submitting – thanks though.

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  7. Stephanie says:

    Beautiful! Thank you! Gratitude and love to you.

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  8. Tina says:

    Your article came at a time when I most needed to read this. I seem to go back and forth from Gratitude to a victimhood mentality. I am fully aware of where I need to be, but the victimhood mentatility still rears its ugly head from time to time, especially when being faced with the same people who have hurt me in the past. Do you have a website or book or more information that would help me find the Gratitude more often especially when being triggered from past memories. I am on a healing path and I believe I have found this little article for a reason. Reading articles like this reminds me I do not have to be in a state of victimhood, but that I do have the choice always to be in a state of gratitude. I am looking for something to trigger this as a reminder do you have any suggestions. Looking for your comments.

    I am grateful that you have posted this article.

    Hi Tina – thanks for posting your comment – we have sent a gift – as a thank you for being a member of the Evolution Ezine – and also to help celebrate this day – which happens to be Apollo’s Birthday :) – also know that we are planning on publishing more of Apollo’s work in the week’s to come- so even more to celebrate – sending joy Cyndi

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  9. I know that concept for a while now.
    But expiriencing gratitude is another story.
    When I remind myself to be in gratitude I do and than I am hijacked by judjement. But I guess that it is what it is and have gratitude even in the moment of hijack.
    Developing yourself in a way that you live in background and forground. Background – is gratitude and connection to spirit,
    forground – deal with the circumstances in your life.
    Bronya Zeitlin
    Emotional Intelligence Coach

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  10. Mayaprince says:

    Wonderful ideas which has strengthened my belief in that area of behaviour. I believe that it makes much sense in the world we live in whereby many people think of revenge, hatred, envy etc. I will share these words of wisdom with many other people either verbally or by forwarding the article. Thanks so much for your beutiful article.

    thanks for helping us spread Apollo’s teaching. Please check your email – we have sent you a small gift as a token of our appreciation – May joy be with you now and always – cyndi

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  11. Debbie says:

    What a most insightful way to distinguish between gratefulness and gratitude. I loved the word play on Gr(e)atitude – I’m going to use that one!

    It just goes to show you that a person can change his whole life with one word if he chooses to hear it.

    Debbie Peck

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  12. It was great being reminded of the law of focussed attention:
    Say what you see so that you can see what you say! Is in the end what you will have – Too Experience – if I do not like or cannot appreciate what I have – nothing is cast in stone I can change my focus(my mind) so that I create more of what I am grateful for.

    I am not the victim of my circumstances – but my attitude could hold me hostage….in the experience!

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  13. rene' says:

    Apollo,

    I truely enjoyed your post on gratitude.

    One thing I am a bit nonplus with is “victimhood”.

    I undertstand that you should never feel like a victim, in life, and I think I understand the gist of why.

    I was taught that you always attract your individual circumstances(subconsciously or otherwise)and you therefore should be accountable/responsible for all your actions( after all you arrtacted them in some way)

    Then Martin Seligman Ph.D comes along and tells us to blame others for certain things in life( when applicable, of course)
    as a way of making us feel better about ourselves, and I really got confused about this accountability thing altogether.

    You could always say others got in the way of our greater good, as a way of making us feel good/better about ourselves, not making us ever feel like we have personally “attracted” our bad circumstances. Blame others and feel good about ourselves!

    What is your take on this matter?

    Ciao,

    Rene’

    P.S. I hope my writting is not too hugger-mugger as I sometimes have a difficult time saying what I mean.

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  14. Susan says:

    Apollo, reading this article changed the way I thought about gratitude. We need more people like you on earth. Wow, I am speechless! Am definitely forwarding this to all my friends,

    Susan

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  15. David Broflovski says:

    Inspirational article, am calling my wife to read this!

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  16. Jay Varvel says:

    Thank you so much for writing this article and sharing it with us. Thank you for making the distinction between gratitude and being grateful! I get the two confused sometimes and I really needed the reminder of the difference. When I am able to truly be in the inner space of gratitude I do feel an intense feeling of peace and love that goes beyond understanding and explanation. It’s beautiful and powerful, and I can only describe it as pure LOVE from the Divine.

    Much Love and Many Magical Blessings,
    Jay

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  17. Tamara says:

    Wonderful article on Gratitude! I enjoyed several points, one being the root of the Greek word for Gratitude (eu-nomos) meaning ‘at one with God’. Certainly being non-judgmental and appreciative of everything that occurs as a result of divine law puts one in a state of non-resistance so that one’s energies may be used to consciously create, as was intended for human beings. At-One-ness.

    At the beginning of every day I record what I am grateful for on the lined pages of my Franklin Planner. This journaling helps me to take a few moments to reflect on both my own and natural creations (as well as other people’s creations) with heartfelt appreciation and wonder but most importantly, it gives me a keen sense of gratitude for life itself, and that is Very Good Feeling! It also gives me a chance to reflect on the things I am asking for and actively observe their manifestations. That in turn increases my confidence in my ability to create the life of my dreams out of my thoughts. Proving that the process that I am using is working for me ;-) . And that includes my Gratitude Journal itself.

    Tamara – thanks for sharing your process with us – much appreciated :) – Please check your email we have sent a little something as a token – Loving Life Cyndi

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  18. Annamarie says:

    hello,
    I truely enjoyed this article on Gratitude
    and want to thank you for that.
    It has inspired me today to write another chapter of my life,
    remembering my Mum saying, when I was complaining about
    things,” just love it, him, her” ot what ever.
    A great start to my day,
    thank you
    Love and Blessings
    Annamarie

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  19. Jan says:

    Hi Apollo!
    What a wonderful article. Thanks so much. I’ve been living in conscious gratitude for some time now, (with occasional slips, I’ll confess, which are becoming less frequent and more quickly caught and dealt with), and can vouch for what you say. Even so, I’d never made the very important distinction between reactive “gratefulness” and creative “gratitude”.
    I look forward to reading more articles by you.
    Many blessings.
    Jan

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  20. elke says:

    wow. thankyou for this. I now know the difference between graditude and being grateful. thankyou an eyeopener

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  21. Melissa says:

    Oh! Lightbulb! Finally I “get it”. Thank you so much.
    On that note, you would be the one to ask, can you clarify “forgiveness”?

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  22. Shosh says:

    Thank you so much for the great article, and it came right in time. It is as if it was waiting for me to read this morning.

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  23. daniel says:

    WOW ,this i a complete new take for me, understand things better now just for reading a paragraph who would have thought it possible just to read and know better ,getting out of victim thinking ,and your lifes reflecting back what you have yourself encouraged into your life,consciously or unconsciously . removing the limiting barriers of belief ,getting rid of the fear that holds you back. awesome incredible thanks ever so much .daniel from england.

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  24. rodoula says:

    Excuse me but if I am understanding what you’re saying If I feel in a blissful state of gratitude accepting resposibility after I’ve been raped isn’t it like declaring consciously that I am an idiot capable of creating monstroous realities unintentionally? How that could help?

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  25. rodoula says:

    P.S. And please do not forget the consequences for the rapists. If you are the one who invited consciously or unconsciously the rape. How convenient

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  26. Jennifer says:

    I guess I needed to read this at some point now. I’ve been thrashing about in victimhood, stunned by recent events and wondering why me? I don’t see a way to be grateful for them, but maybe now, I’ll shift out of victimhood. Thank you.

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  27. This is powerful. Thank you for this article.

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  28. Jason says:

    Reading your article today made a powerful shift in my view of myself! For a long time, I felt guilty and beat myself up because I thought I was failing to feel gratitude. Now I know the problem – I had a poor definition. I equated gratitude with feeling some sort of positive emotion, as if I should be joyful for the pain. Anytime I faced displeasing circumstances and subsequently felt/thought anything other than happiness, I would later criticize myself and think something must be wrong with me. Now, today, I see that it has more to do with moving to a place of acceptance. It’s ok to feel what we feel, and let it pass through us. What matters is that we cease resisting that which we cannot change or control. Applying this to one of my current challenges, I realized (inside my heart) that I no longer wanted to feel angry or resentful towards a certain family member. For quite some time, I have justified my thought patterns towards this person. But today, your article showed me that I am allowed to feel seemingly ‘negative emotions’, provided that I surrender to ‘what is’

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  29. Amelia says:

    I have recently been praying and connecting to what I call the higher power. I have been asking for a wonderful man to come into my life who is spiritual, kind, caring, loves my kids, my kids love him, loves me, doesn’t drink too much, doesn’t smoke, has kids of his own, is financially stable, generous with his money and spirit, wants to travel, I even wanted someone who would like to spend a week in a Buddhist monastary with me. He is absolutely all these things. I feel very blessed that I am being taken care of by the higher power or what I may call the power within. I have a deep sense of spirituality, this is extreemly important to me. One thing he has said to me on a number of occasions is it must be such a struggle for you trying to bring up two kids on your own with not a lot of money etc.. Two years ago the father of the kids assulted me and I was left unable to walk for just over three months and to this day I am still in pain, although I did have a period where I had some releif. The pain is no where near as bad as it was initially though. This left me unable to work in my field which I have been in for the past 10 years. I keep saying to him no I feel like I am living like a million air, I live in a beautiful home, with two amazing kids, food on the table, in a spectacular part of the world, with meaningful frienships, the kids go to a fab school. Really I am very blessed. I still think he finds it hard to understand how I can have this attitude. Because of this I experience many magical moments in my life. And he is one of them.. Thank you Universe !!!

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  30. Vitallywell says:

    Wow. One of the most powerful lessons I have ever learned. If we could “turn on” the world to this, what an awesome transformation would take place. Perhaps even a transfiguration. Free will does not specify the right thing to do and many would choose the wrong path. We can only act upon our part and be grateful (and/or greatful) with gratitude!

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  31. Shankar says:

    Thanks for explaining the difference between gratefulness and gratitude – one more reason to note down in my gratitude journal. And thanks for telling us the opposite of Gratitude.

    Shankar, India

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  32. Apollo Pampallis says:

    MESSAGE FROM APOLLO
    Firstly, I would like to thank everyone who took the trouble to write and share their experience of this, my first submission on the ezine, and for giving me this unprecedented response on Evolution Ezine. It brings great joy to touch so many lives in this way, as it does with my one on one life mentoring therapy whether through the net, in workshops or with bodywork.
    Gratitude runs contra to all our programming, and needs constant awareness. When you stray, as we all do, let it go and re-member yourself. If you resonate well with this article, you have the Ezine’s and my permission to print it in its totality and stick it up somewhere where it will be ‘in your face’, to counter all the other ‘in your face’ disempowering stuff thrown at us from all angles.
    If you have a habit of seeing/reading the ‘news’, consciously stop yourself and do something empowering. Constant repetition of poisoned thoughts have hypnotized us into disempowered submission.
    This can only be countered by constant repetition of the Truth. You are Your Attitude, right Now.
    The article may be updated to include an edited out bit shortly.
    If you would like to receive any more articles by me or my partner, please let me know.
    I wish for you all to blossom in the Awesomeness for which you have all been created.
    In the everpresent Now
    Apollo

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  33. john sunde says:

    Awesom
    e article … I would love to get more of your inspired writing. Thanks John

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  34. Harshini says:

    thank you so much for your insight. I have been thnking on the same line I think. I think the victimhood is the choosing the illusion(our own mental projections) over our divinity and devinity of universe. So when we are in victimhood we are fearful uncertain and unaware of the circomstence and we create constent conflictivity. when we are in gratitude we choose to experience our devinit – in otherwards be our true selves- we are in a harmonious existence.We see the God in motion in our selves and out side.
    Thanks again

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  35. Debbie says:

    Thankyou Apollo,

    Can’t deny divine intervention (LOA) as this is the area of my “beingness” that is surfacing for treatment right now.

    Excellent presentation.

    Debbie

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  36. paul says:

    when the student is ready the teacher appears .,thank you,its sometimes a difficult path ,to be a master you have to master all things ,if we could always remember we are divine beings,god if you like ,everything is ,.To walk the god path ,a spirit path can be hard when we keep failing/feeling the draw of the mind/ego,pain and grief,fear , life’s up’s and down’s and then to say be greatful,some would think it’s mad but we do create all from day to day, moment by moment,here and now and in another place and this is the trying ground to practice all this ,but there are no failure’s, just triers masters and students,but never the less all divine BEINGS, just being ..I am greatful and i never thought I would think or say that,but knowing we can change it all at my level but together we can create a whole new world ,in this none reality , if we stop what we have been doing ,work as one (which we are)stop allowing the few to think for the many, then we can creat a caring sharing world enough for all,and get on with life .But if it was all perfect what would we do with ourselves ,.Start again and do it all again ever expanding learning growing .WHY because we can .I am ,there for you are, we all are one, the “I” in all there is.
    I AM ..I marvel at it all ..
    Take care all much LOVE Paul..here is a good word not new but its what we could call a god send ,to change your life, FORGIVENESS of all things including yourself.
    Let go let god.

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  37. niel says:

    Thank you. You taught me to have an attitude of gratitude

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  38. Dee says:

    Thank you all so much!

    This is awesome and empowering! Not only was the article mind-shattering, so were the responses! I’m in what I would have called a bad place. Thank you all for helping me to rise above it. The article, along with all of you really made me…think. I took notes from the article and several of the posts! The article came to me when I needed it most and could comprehend it. Here’s what I grasped;

    -I have the power to change my life
    -I gained an understanding of “victimhood” (that’s new to me)
    -I see how it’s easier to focus on creating
    -I actually created a moment immediately that could have gone to the bad place my experiences have gone
    -I know to allow and embrace the pain (it’s actually less painful this way)
    -I now stop the negative thought patterns immediately (this is big)
    -I can now accept, love and surrender to what is (unconditionally without feeling threatened)

    I can hardly wait for the ebook!

    Thanks and best to you all!

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  39. Dee says:

    I don’t mean to be long winded, but I forgot to tell you all that while I was reading thru the posts, a song popped into my head. It was “I’m picking up good vibrations”. (I think it was an old Sunkist jingle) However, I stopped for a moment to randomly put my TV on a channel. A commercial came up that said “Rethink Possible”. The song in the commercial was “Pure Imagination” from Willy Wonka. You may want to revisit that feeling. I physically felt all that I’ve taken in resonate thru my body.

    Love you all, thanks again!

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  40. mike says:

    Gratitude is simply liking/loving what you are focusing on to such an extent that it evokes a good feeling emotional response. An emotional response is an indicator that you are attracting more of the essence (physical and non-physical) that matches the emotion you are feeling. The stronger the emotion you are feeling then the greater you are attracting. Appreciation/gratitude/love is one end of the emotional spectrum. See the Abraham channelings by Esther Hicks.

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  41. sam says:

    powerful inspiration…u’ve uplifted me at a time of need. I feel all summarizes to LOVE (unconditional acceptance)

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  42. MESSAGE FROM APOLLO

    Thanks again for all your hearty contributions!
    There is more in the offing for those who would like to contact me on apollo@discoveringthenow.com,(email operating but site still under construction with my partner)

    As the response has been ovewhelming, to avoid repetition and to help you all benefit even further from the valuable contributions you have made I shall attempt to respond to you all in this combined message.
    In a sense all the replies are to everyone….

    I shall first address the anger & pain I feel in Rodoula’s 2 postings.
    RODOULA, in the original article I submitted I spoke about how my clients who had been raped actually shifted the energy from being rape ‘victims’ to ‘victors’ They came to me after traditional psychotherapy (which I used to practice) and prescribed ‘medication’, had brought them to a point of suicide.
    I feel no less compassion for one who has been through such trauma than anyone else, in fact probably more than most. But because I love them I cannot feel sorry for them and reinforce their victim identity.
    Through greatitudinal mentoring over skype I facilitated in their change in such a way that both emerged far stronger than they had ever been before the incident, and both are quite adamant that should they be able to relive their lives, they would change nothing.
    The shift from illusion of victimhood to gratitude and realisation of their power took much time and went through much resistance, but when it happened occured instantly and permanently.
    I lovingly urge you to ask yourself whether you choose to continue living in resistance,reactivity and victimhood or whether you would be prepared to rechannel this massive energy investment and use this opportunity to explore alternatives in the realm of self empowerment.

    HEATHER. Just as you played a role in your disappointement you manifested the right article for you at the right time. Congratulations in your shift of awareness. An ongoing and evolving process..

    IRENE. Looking forward to hearing of your ongoing journey.

    LEILA. Sorry, I did not get your message. Try emailing me.
    apollo@discoveringthenow.com

    RAMONA &STEPHANIE I gratefully accept your blessings,feel gratified that you received the message so clearly and joyfully reflect the love.

    TINA. Well done for consciously creating the right article for you with perfect timing. At this stage, don’t go into or read too much stuff. Quantity will scatter and confuse you now. Rather repeatedly read and take in this article, let it penetrate deeply.(I’ll try get the original article put up meanwhile)I do have a few books in progress, and other resources, and my web presence is changing. Please email me on apollo@discoveringthenow.com which is a working email for a new web presence with a new partner, under construction.

    MAYAPRINCE. Remember that gratitude and attitude are not behaviour but a way of Being. Behaviour is determined, inspired, limited, motivated,directed or misdirected depending where on the gratitude-victim spectrum we are at any point in time, or rather, in the eternal Now.

    11.DEBBIE PECK. Absolutely. The “Logos” word is the Primal Cause behind the spoken word, what Rupert Sheldrake refers to as th ‘morphological field’ (and more than that), and creator of all ex-is-stence.

    12.RENE.Is jy a Boeremeisie? Yes, but just lose the word ‘should’. We are accountable. Its your choice whether you believe Martin and thus give away your power (to others), to be a victim,(because he put his academic qualifications behind his name and I didnt?) or to take it back. Are you sure you feel ‘good’ blaming others? It sounds like trying to hammer flat a bump from a previous whack on your head. :-)

    16.JAY Thats wonder-ful. Yes, we all sometimes confuse the two, but having the awareness will increasingly lessen the confusion until it is no more.Thank you. I join you in that space of love and miracles.

    17.TAMA Just remember the distinction between gratefulness and gratitude!With gratitude you Create, and with gratefulness you multiply what you have created.

    18.ANNAMARIE Yes, we can love without liking, and like without loving.
    Also in my book and may write an article on it.

    19.JAN. I also did not make that vital distinction until fairly recently!I do have lots more material and a couple of books pending. Also have had a call for an ongoing emailzine.You and others who would like to keep in touch with the latest please email me on apollo@discoveringthenow.com, (the webpage to follow soon)

    20.ELKE ;-)

    21.MELISSA Other people have asked for something on Forgiveness, which is also in my books. May well be the next topic!

    Answers to the next 20 comments will be up soon!
    Stay in Gratitude!
    Apollo

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  43. Jane says:

    Hello,

    I had a deja vu experience of a traumatic event a long time ago and when it happened I realised that I had been given a gift as I realisedI had been giving my power away. At that moment I began my journey out of victim hood and because I am willing to stay with any seemingly `awful` feelings when they arise I have had many insights into how, where and why I give my power away. I did actually think I had finished with the old trauma pattern, but unbeknown to me I was still carrying some hidden resentment which was quite unconscious. This came as a shock because I would have denied I had any resentment because I thought I had forgiven myself and others. This was a fallacy on my part as one day a short while ago I had a revelation which seemed like an act of grace, which stated you are waiting. Immediately I realised I had been waiting for the other person to do something about it – immediately I let go of the waiting and such a sense of peace and gratitude filled me and the resentment dissolved without any effort on my part. The resentment had been causing me pain because I was obviously still holding on to some part of me which wanted to feel like a victim. I am forever amazed how our unconscious feelings, thoughts and beliefs play such a deadly role in our lives.
    Because of this sense of gratitude and coming into my own as well I am now journeying beyond good/bad, right/wrong and what a different world it seems to be.

    The only thoughts I have had around `victim consciousness` is that it seems that some people are accepting of what is, but do nothing about getting out of the situations they have chosen to be in because of the misunderstanding about what acceptance truly means.

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  44. gene says:

    Dear Apollo–

    I absolutely loved your writing on gratitude. It cleared up a major point. The idea that gratefulness is a temporary state while gratitude is a constant state of being makes so much spiritual sense to me. I have been dealing with a very difficult place in life the past six years. I was arrested, wrongly, for a crime that left me with the social tag of sex offender. This changed my life and challenged every notion and spiritual teaching my path has come across over the last forty years. How could God have let me stray that far from whom I really am? I asked myself a million times. There was no victim in my “crime” (it was a sting) but I was punished anyway for what they thought I was going to do. I am writing a book about the whole experience but have wrestled with the rage I hold toward the government and the shame of being in the position of hurting my family, more than anything.

    Anyway, your writing reminded me of something I have always believed, that WE CREATE OUR OWN REALITY. I believed this completely and saw it in my life for many years. But when this abrupt experience took place in my life, I refused to accept that I had created such a terrible experience for myself. I became a victim. It has been EXTREMELY difficult to accept responsibility for something that societ deems so vile and wrongful. Yet, through it, I have learned so much I never would have gotten perhaps any other way. I am on the road to deeper understanding and wisdom. But the truth hurts, deeply, as this experience continues to teach me.

    I would enjoy sharing more with you via email or if you come here to speak, would love to meet you at some point. Your writing is wonderful and I thank you again for sharing it.

    Gene

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  45. emily says:

    very good!even though difficult what you sugest,i think you are right again!

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  46. [...] Forgiveness: Good People Don’t Forgive by Apollo Pampallis To prepare for this article, please read my previous posting, Why Gratitude, What You Haven’t Been Told. [...]

  47. Vickie says:

    Thank You! I just had a discusion with myself or should I say I bawled myself out so to speak for not changing my life to a preferable way of existance. This artical was the first thing I read out of my e-mails. I am glad that My Spirit knows me well enough to know what I need and need to hear. I do feel impatient at times.

    I know a few people, who would appreciate this artical, I’m going to send this to. It does clarify living in gratitude.

    Thank you. I sometimes need reminded how to be more than I am.

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  48. Sharon Schneider says:

    Wow! Apollo,

    It has not been an hour since I was speaking with a friend who shared with me I was a victim of my circumstances and was coaching me to look at the payoff for having my life always go this way in certain areas. Money and employment are the areas. I went on to list the things I was grateful for…I am now present to it was a response, not true gratitude…great attitude…being filled with God. I opened my email and this article was there to read to prepare for reading the one on forgiveness. This was what I needed. My spirit was in alignment with exactly what I wanted and needed. It is so awesome to create and be in alignment with these steps to enlightenment on my path. Thank you for a great article.

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  49. Sandra Froggatt says:

    I am there, most of the time. I really enjoyed your article. I have been through a lot over the past year, but I have been able to stay relatively focused and positive. I do “fall off the wagon” once in awhile and “wallow in self pitty” but for the most part, I stay in the grateful gratitude mode. I am grateful every morning that the sun comes up and I am in “my place” with the universe and God. I have begun doing many things with my mind and brain and keep the faith that all is well and I am safe and everything is working out for my highest good. Thank you for this article and your place in this world.

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  50. Maria Safaei says:

    Symphono apolita Apollo,
    an excellent choice to learn about the true meaning of Forgiveness is the spiritual guidebook ‘A course in Miracles, which I highly recommend. ‘I am not a body I am free, am still as God created me’…….
    Once you understand, that Jesus message was the
    ressurection (=you are created in Gods image=you are spirit, thus eternal)=truth and not the crucifiction( =you are in the flesh and thus a slave to time, prone to death, suffering )=Illusion.
    I believe that God is pure love and perfection and so are we, except that we have left the pure godmind, in our imagination and created a will apart from god, which is apparent in our selfcreated separation in manifestation and action.
    This will disappear as soon as we awaken again to our spiritual true nature and the realization that we are all one and the same in spirit.
    If you awaken and realize this and chose God’s will for you instead of your own separate will and empty the chalice of your mind, your inherent holiness will naturally fill the empty space with what you have been since before the beginnig of time.
    I would say: “Remove the blocks in your vision to be one with your original source and the miracle of correction will be yours.”
    Blessings to all and everyone………Love Maria:-)

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  51. Brette says:

    Thanks for telling me the difference between gratitude and gratefulness.
    I see it now, and understand that I can be OK with me, just as I am, and if not I CAN take the responsibility to change the seed that produced the fruit.

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  52. [...] links in with my first article on “Gratitude”  which I suggest you read as an introduction to see how obvious the relationship between [...]

  53. [...] links in with my first article on “Gratitude”  which I suggest you read as an introduction to see how obvious the relationship between [...]

  54. Helen Ricco says:

    Bravo Apollo!

    I just love to read your articles, so well written/expressed & so inspiring.

    I am a Caycedian Sophrologist, also of Greek origin & my work definitely falls in line with what I have read in your articles, so far.

    It feels so good to hear someone else say the same things that I say, but in a different way.

    Many thanks & best wishes to you,
    Helen.

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  55. [...] grandeur within, because of and in gratitude and gratefulness (learn to differentiate between them here) of the Grand Scheme of things, the Whole. (not as opposed, in comparison, in competition or in any [...]

  56. Vernita says:

    Inspiring! Love this article

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