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Arrogant People Have No Pride – Do You?

Most ‘spiritual’ people do not understand this basic concept, and as a result are either arrogant or self defacing, as ‘worshipped gurus’ or fringe ‘alternative (little) people’.

They do not realize that the duality is not between pride and humility.

Pride is in fact the prerequisite of humility.

The opposing duality is between pride and arrogance.

And between humility and self depreciation.

By contrast, pride and humility is a continuum, as are self depreciation and arrogance.

Jesus, the Buddha and other leaders of spiritual, religious and other traditions which set out to en-lighten, emphasise the importance of humility.

But humility is not a state that most of us are ready to attain, and in conscientiously trying to ‘do the right thing’ we become self depreciating, self destructive, and consequently of no benefit to our world.

In order to reach humility, we need to start at the beginning of its continuum, at pride.

Consider for a moment courage.

It does not take courage to fight battles, to transcend conflict, or to approach an apparently desirable person of the complementary gender, unless we experience (the presence of) fear doing it in the first place. Fear is the beginning of the continuum which leads to courage. A war veteran may be totally fearless in a war zone, but paralyzed with fear at the opportunity of approaching a woman to whom he feels attracted. For a suave playboy, approaching a woman may involve no fear at all, while a conflict situation far less dangerous than a war would be terrifying. In order for courage to exist, we must have fear. Fear is a most natural and healthy way after all to responding to a situation where you risk being ‘shot down’ one way or another, and courage, not denial, leads to taking charge of the situation.

If you, dear readers would like me to clarify and expand on this in a dedicated article, please let me know.

Self depreciation and arrogance are both ends of the continuum of the way we deal with the feeling of (fearful) detachment, separation and denial of our connectedness with everyone and everything else. In this instance we do not confront the fear of ‘being in the world’ (courageously) but deny it. We put the world ‘out there’ and ourselves ‘here in our own self created bubble’. As ‘separate entities’ from the world ‘out there’ we (or rather our ego which creates the separation) feel/s a need to defend our ‘separateness.’ It will do this either by ‘acting aggressively superior’, or by curling up into our protective little shells and hoping that we are not noticed (self depreciation)

In order to be proud, and consequently humble, we need some courage.

Courage to acknowledge ourselves in the world and accept our own virtues, gifts and abilities and the positive impact they have on our lives, BE (come) them, and finally ACT on them, with the resulting benefits on the lives and world of those around us. To shine in it and not “hide our light under a bushel”, to quote a well known phrase in the Judaic writings. To shine our light form the hilltop, on any and everyone within range to receive it, unconditionally. To strut our stuff, Proudly.

However, as we have courageously faced the fear of being ‘in this world’, an integral part of it, and then transcending it by confronting it and acting on where “our light” takes us, we realize that we and our gifts are only a gift from, and part of a greater whole. Just like the cells and organs of the body are all indispensable to its functioning and hosting your expression of life or soul, so we are all cells of the Body of Life and need to acknowledge ourselves proudly as such.

Pride thus becomes a joy of one’s own grandeur within, because of and in gratitude and gratefulness (learn to differentiate between them here) of the Grand Scheme of things, the Whole. (not as opposed, in comparison, in competition or in any other way separate of it or any other person or being), and by extension an unconditional love, acceptance and acknowledgment of the world through which (and through no other way) it can be expressed.

Had it not been for the hens, why should the rooster be proud?
Had it not been for the hens, the rooster would not even exist.

It is this recognition of ‘debt’ to the world, an acknowledgment of the reciprocation, of cooperative belongingness that cannot bring anything else but a true sense of humility to the proud person.

I am proud. Why? Not because of my post graduate studies in psychology or education. I am proud because, despite the many years of educational channeling (education in Latin means to force into a pipe, as does pedagogy in Greek) I have found within me, through my rather challenging life, the gifts I have for mentoring and facilitating healing in others, through workshops, teleseminars, articles, workshops ebooks, counseling (face to face & through internet video calls) all over the world) and psychosomatic bodywork. The most challenging part, which took the most courage, was to Act on it, as the results in terms of healing are so astounding that I was initially terrified. (another future article you need to read to liberate your potential) I refuse to allow anybody to refer to what I do as ‘alternative’. Alternative to what? Therapy is a process of healing a person, so that they release physical and psychological dis-ease. By contrast, the focus on sickness and trying to suppress the messages given us by dis-ease is to me an alternative, a poor and dangerous one at that.

But I am also humble. In gratitude and gratefulness (see Why Gratitude for the difference between these terms) for the Love and life sacrifice of my parents, who have given me everything of themselves. For the sacred privilege of being a father to Chloe. And how Life conspires to reflect back to me just what I need. For the trust, for the opportunity to touch people and thus the world so deeply. To be given the opportunity by Life for being a vehicle to so much healing. And to be able to see reason for everyone, yes, everyone I touch, whether figuratively or physically to be proud, no more, no less in their own right, in their own Light.

Look at your own life. Make an inventory as to where you stand in terms of pride (self appreciation), humility, arrogance and self depreciation. If you feel in need of assistance with this list let me know and I will provide an assessment tool in a future post.

Apollo Pampallis is a Life Mentor and can be contacted on Apollo@discoveringthenow.com. He is establishing new web pages in an exciting new alliance. For ongoing information, upcoming webinars, consultations, ebooks and other news please contact him on the above email

The articles published in the Evolution Ezine are excerpts from future books.  If you are interested in obtaining one of the first copies once available – for you and/or those you care about – be sure to send him an email and let him know.

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35 Responses to “Arrogant People Have No Pride – Do You?”

  1. Eugenie says:

    Another gem from Apollo. Just like the other articles, a brand new, enlightened perspective.

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  2. Jimmy says:

    Yes, I really appreciate all Apollo’s articles, which strike a chord within . . .

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  3. dianne says:

    Please give us more on this. I am having difficulty fully understanding thankyou.

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  4. komath says:

    much food for thought as usual. thanx

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  5. Leila says:

    I like the description of how pride helps us to not indulge in competition or comparison which increase separation. How it takes courage to be proud and to be part of the world. I agree with that. I am somewhere on the scale – maybe edging closer to the self-appreciation end than the self-depreciation end. Thanks Apollo.

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  6. Niki says:

    I’m shocked, never heard such a load of old rubbish and what a mish mash! Bizarre.

    Most ‘spiritual’ people do not understand this basic concept, and as a result are either arrogant or self defacing, as ‘worshipped gurus’ or fringe ‘alternative (little) people’.

    WHO are you? And you assume you DO know this basic concept! Arrogance IS pride I thought. Which you seem to do SO well. If it weren’t so misleading I’d laugh. No wonder dianne doesn’t understand – because its jabberwocky dianne.

    “Pride is in fact the prerequisite of humility”
    “They do not realize that the duality is not between pride and humility.” (what does that actually mean!!!)
    If you, dear readers would like me to clarify and expand on this in a dedicated article, please let me know.

    Errr, no thanks.

    Bewildering misinformation throughout!

    Suggest reading this article for some true clarity:

    http://www.kachina.net/~alunajoy/2008april.html

    It concerns me when I read such misinformation! And even more so that people actually it means anything at all – this doesn’t ring true in any way!

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  7. Annamarie says:

    hello Apollo,
    once again I love your articles and what a great way to
    explain about pride and arrogance, I think that too many people
    misunderstand this until they read this article.
    I once thought that beeing shy was a good thing and showed respect
    until a Swami told me that shy people are no use to this world.
    I did not know that humility was “not” the same as beeing shy.
    Love and Blessings
    Annamarie

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  8. Victoria says:

    I follow your articles Apollo, and this one disappoints, perhaps you were tired and forced it.

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  9. PF XX SA says:

    PRIDE and ARROGANCE
    WE ALL HAVE OUR PRIDE AND WE ALL HAVE ARROGANCE AND TO THE COMMENT MADE BY NIKI IT IS THE PERFECT EXAMPLE OF ARROGANCE !!
    BE PROUD OF YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS AND YOUR CHILDREN AND ARROGANT TO THOSE WHO TRY TO CRUSH THAT .
    I AM A PROUD PARENT ,AND PROUD OF ALL I HAVE DONE AND ACHIEVED WHY SHOULDNT I BE ? I AM ARROGANT ENOUGH TO ADMIT IT AS WELL !
    HAVE A GREAT AND PROUD DAY AND DO YOURSELF PROUD BY SMILING AT ONE ARROGANT PERSON TODAY

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  10. Kathy says:

    Okay, this is the first Apollo article I’ve read and I didn’t completely understand it and questioned a lot of it. However, it DID make me think!!! And I appreciate anything that makes me think a new thought. It also helped me to identify a personal characteristic as “pride” and that is my inability to ask for help. With the talents and abilities I have been blessed with in this life, I could have accomplished so much more if I had reached out to others for advice or assistance. Why did I not? Pride! As Annamarie said “Shy people are of no use to this world.” I got over much of my shyness over time but always felt shy (or unworthy) to ask for (or admit I needed perhaps?) help.

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  11. Naomi says:

    I agree with Niki and add that why engage in competition except for an inflated sense of pride in being better than someone else???? and losing sight of the fact that there IS sufficient for all on this earth…some of his statements were very arrogant and judgmental…I prefer positive energy and positive reinforcement…the “shock” factor in saying some of the insulting things he has said doesn’t impress me…

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  12. Robbie says:

    I think this guy is just playing around with words. Is he hiding behind a veil of assumed knowledge or is he just redefining words his own way as if they should mean something to everyone else? what does “self defacing” mean? He seems trapped in a model of the universe that is bounded entirely by words.

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  13. Soul purpose says:

    Interesting and clearly provocative by some of the comments above but it works because it definitely gets our attention and the best teachings do-they prompt a reaction -positive or negative depending on the reflection back to us. I found it a really interesting perspective and I do see the link with pride and humility. We are all interconnected, we do all have special talents and gifts to offer the world but we put our energy out into the world in the right way. Not by being arrogant but by believing in our own ability and by extending the hand of gratitude and service to others so we can be a role model for others to shine and bring forth their gifts like Budha/Jesus etc.

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  14. Susan says:

    I didn’t have any problem with this article and can’t see why it would offend anyone, whether it brings up discord because some of the descriptions rang true or whether it was just not understood properly by those that didn’t care for it, I’m not sure. I do think that the way one person explains themself and their methods may not appeal to everyone, so it’s a good job so many people in the world actually care enough to be putting their thoughts out there for the rest of us, that we might find the one or ones we do feel in accord with. If I’ve learned anything useful in life it’s that criticism is dangerous, to point at someone else (including Apollo!) and shoot them down puts us in a very negative state of mind and comes from a lack or from jealousy perhaps? When we have these strong feelings of anger or fear or disagreement – therin lies a lesson for us. I’ve met a few people (I hasten to add that’s not to say ALL are like this) who work for charities and get paid a handsome wage for their time, yet they puff their egos up by telling anyone who will listen what ‘great’ people they are because they do this job. I’ve also met a great deal of people who consider themselves ‘spiritual’ and yet they are the same people who look down on those who haven’t yet taken that step – this seems nonsensicle. If something pushes our buttons it’s a pretty good indicator that it holds a message for us of some sort. It’s up to us if we rail against it or investigate, I say take the Sherlock Holmes route ;) . Be Well x

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  15. Iraq O'Bama says:

    Pshaw!

    Apollo confuses humility with (self)humiliation.
    So There.

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  16. Huey says:

    What is could not be otherwise. Great article!!

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  17. theo53 says:

    Pride, arrogance, courage, self-deprication, etc., are all contructs of Ego. If we are “spirit having a human experience”, then a discussion on how Spirit, which is pure LOVE, can tame Ego would be most beneficial. This is the real dichotomy: spirit vs ego.

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  18. Victoria says:

    Hi!
    Great post above! May we learn to live from our hearts in love and peace as opposed to living from our heads!
    This reminds me of 6 Heart Virtues: Compassion, Humility, Forgiveness, Divine Love, Understanding, Valor and Appreciation as noted by James in Wingmakers.com and Event Temples.
    lots of love and lots of light to all!

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  19. John says:

    Hi,
    My interpretation of Apollo’s comments are this: Pride is a basic human condition, it’s part of what drives us to expand our boundaries and further our progress (sometimes for good; sometimes not)as a race. Apollo is right; Pride with humility is a positively great state to be in, and to be around people who are proud and humble. Pride with arrogance is a negative state; they do not sit naturally together and people in this state will generally antagonise you; make you feel uncomfortable.

    Apollo’s comments are thought provoking (remeber romantic love!) and so far I agree with virtually all of his view points although it may take a few reads to really grasp the message.

    Everyone is entitled to voice their opinion. Keep up the good work Apollo.

    John.

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  20. AngelBaby says:

    I found all of this to be rather judgmental and if we are to follow the teachings that we are all one, should we judge others and what they have to say? Love is the most important part of our journey here on Earth and if this is true and we are all one, we need to accept and love each other for who we are. After all, Love is all there is ~ nothing else matters.

    Love and Blessings,
    AngelBaby

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  21. Niki says:

    I found the article misleading and little to do with living the truth. There is no problem with judging it, we’re all entitled to an opinion and I have never responded to an article before but this one couldn’t go uncorrected. He seems to be justifying his arrogance and pride and asking us to do the same. I didn’t mention anything to do with children!!! If one is adopting the stance of a teacher with some authority on the matter there is immediately ego and in this case a good dose of arrogance and pride and passing it off as spiritual. Strange. If it whips up the old ego, arrogance and pride then all the more reason to drop them as they only obscure the Light.

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  22. kathie says:

    Wow so beautifully put.

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  23. Niki says:

    Ps, anyone who sets themselves up as ‘teacher’ must know they are accountable the moment they assume such a role. If people want to waste time being misled we all have that prerogative. Beyond your conditioning, your history, your memories, is your true compass, your true heart. Having found it, you will know what is false and what is true. Any that have found their true heart have no need to sit on self made pedestals. Among all of the blinding lights on this planet at the moment none call themselves teachers. There are infinite red herrings and cul de sacs to waste time in should your free will wish. The moment we open our mouths we reveal our level of understanding. I can assure you that pride and arrogance have nothing at all to do with humility, don’t take my word for it, find out for yourselves! I’m passionate about the truth and our liberation so if I see chains where none were I will say so. Its ethically wrong and creates karma. If that upsets the apple cart so be it. If peoples beliefs are challenged it usually doesn’t go down well. Follow no-one, give your power to no-one, why would you need to. You are your own teacher and final authority. We are all Buddha’s. As a regular reader and fan of Evolutine Ezine I was surprised to see this misleading article. Humility is not something to be attained we already are humility! Beyond duality is peace. I’ve read the article again am even more bewildered than I was the first time. In Lak’ech.

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  24. Debra says:

    I totally agree with Theo message 17. I believe you have summed up the truth in one paragraph and we can all look inside ourselves for the truth. Every one of us regardless of whether we are a teacher, labourer, nurse, unemployed or psychologist has the truth within. An education, a degree, a so called higher class does not make anyone higher or lower than the next person. We are all loved equally and are expected to love each other equally. Apollo, thank you for your article because it has made us all think and perhaps shine light on other matters as well. This is not a criticism but perhaps you should remember that psychology is a construct as well. Spirit has been here from since time began and, yes, that is immeasurable.

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  25. Rich says:

    The Principle of Polarity states that heat and cold although opposites are merely different degrees of the same thing at a different rate of vibration.This can be applied to anything

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  26. Rina says:

    I should learn to take pride in my ability to channel healing energy but yet I display self deprecation by thinking I am one of the weird little alternative people. Thus I am of no use to the world being as I am.

    If I were arrogant about this ability, I will crush all people deemed opposing to me and not heal them.

    In pride I value myself, my ability and my work. In humility, I accept other people’s comments and is willing to teach and learn from others.

    In arrogance, I inflate myself and detest all deemed below me. I refuse to learn from others or listen to their opinion as I deem myself all learned and knowing.

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  27. Kathy says:

    Rina,
    Very well said. Thank you for the lesson.

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  28. Valerie says:

    “Shy people are of no use to this world.” Really? Everyone in this world serves a purpose. To eliminate one group of individuals through a vast generalization is exclusionary and contradicts the very essence of spirituality; that we are all connected and purposeful within the web of life. Individuals who are shy bring their own gifts into the world. Literature, art, theatre, a sense of patience and peace and honor when they learn to trust and invite you into their world. Jesus hung out with all different types: prostitutes, thieves, beggars, all sorts of souls he ministered to. Can you imagine him uttering, “These people are of no use to the world?”

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  29. Huey says:

    As We Think, So Shall We Be.

    Good and Bad, Hot and Cold, Liberty and Freedom, Arrogance and Pride, Service and Servility, Light and Darkness. These words do not mean anything…Mental perception make them what they are.

    There is the Truth and It is a Living Truth about anything and everything. Know The Truth and The Truth shall make you free. In what measure you shall mete, it shall be measured to you again.

    Socrates (469 BC – 399 BC) – “I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance”

    Terry Cole-Whittaker’s book, “What You Think of Me Is None of My Business”, would be a good read.

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  30. inesaki40 says:

    Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance and hypocritical humility. I chose honest arrogance and have seen no occasion to change.

    - Frank Lloyd Wright

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  31. Sejal says:

    hmm…. well, Apollo isnt wrong…
    Although in a world where there are millions of shades of every color/feeling/thought, to break things down n say this is this and that is that is kind of ummm… limiting?!?

    wat i lik abt it though is dat it makes me analyse myself…. look closer at specific areas…. :)

    Cheers!!

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  32. LK says:

    For a moment there, I thought I was reading comments on Yahoo News!….I had to go back and verify that I was actually reading Evolution Ezine. (:-)!

    @Nikki,…..such passion!….while I can see your point of view, you need to realize that, what you consider ‘your truth’ does not apply to everyone else…coz ‘your truth’ is only based on your experience…whatever that may be.

    This article may not resonate with you, but it does resonate with alot of other people and you just can’t brand it as ‘misleading’…..I don’t feel mislead. I may not take the full article to heart…..but I resonate with a few nuggets of truth and for that, am grateful. That’s why God or the Universe (whatever you persive your higher power to be) gave you intelligence/perception, so you can decide what’s right for you and what’s not.

    So, if you think the article is a bag of trash, fine….you’re right!…that’s truth according to you…….you’re entitled to voice your opinion on it, but voice it, in such away that we understand, its an opinion according to you…..you generalizing it, will spoilt it for others, who might benefit from ‘a few nuggets of truth’ like I did.

    Your way may not be the right way, and you should be okey with that.

    That said, I want to thank Apollo for this article. It takes courage to write an article and even buckets more courage, to share it with the public, knowing that critism is inevitable. Do continue sharing your ‘Truth’ Apollo, its appreciated more than you’ll ever know! Cheers and blessings to you!

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  33. Jana says:

    This pretty much sums it up for me…

    “You break free when you feel neither beneath anyone nor superior to anyone, when you shed the need to control other people, when you create space for others to be who they are and for your real self to be what it is.” ~Deepak Chopra

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  34. Jane says:

    Wow! Pretty amazing response. If nothing else, this article has stimulated thought and discussion; a good thing.

    -Jane
    petenergyhealer.com

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  35. OSEI-AGYEI Kwasi Snr says:

    probably Abrahamic god could only exist ‘cos of the existence of satan. so who created whom? could all be lie. what a beLIEf?

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