Evolution Ezine
Discover your full potentialCo create a better worldShare your knowledge

What’s Worse Than Being a Miser? by Apollo Pampallis

A ‘mean’, stingy or miserly person is certainly sending out many disempowering messages. But at least he is not stealing ‘spiritual rewards’ from another, which is what a lot of ‘good’ people do in the belief that they are doing the ‘right thing’….

A miser, by clinging onto his wealth is a person ruled by fear. Fear that his personal value lies in his material wealth, and further that material wealth is limited and thus reduced when shared. Another misconception he has is that giving is material in nature and that anything given is lost. Such a ‘tight fisted’ approach by contrast not only does not save the miser material wealth or money, it loses him opportunity for making more. A closed fist cannot grasp, any more than it cannot give. The energy, whether material or not cannot use him as a conduit. Everybody knows that a pump in order to draw water well needs to be ‘primed’, and pipes need a good flow of water to pass through them to take out the air locks which cause irregularities in the flow.

Misers tend to become known, become avoided, and thus become cut off from others.

However there is a worse affliction, sinister in that it is unseen, so much so, that an English word does not even exist for this serious condition. I learnt from it as a child in South Africa. My father would often visit his friends, two brothers who owned a superette takeaway, in the evenings and take me with him.

One evening, one of the brothers, Pandeli, knowing that I had not yet had supper, asked me what he could make me to eat. I very ‘politely’ said, ‘no, nothing thank you’, at which he took off at me, calling me ‘akatadhektos’. An akatadhekto (Greek) is a person who will not accept. The height of rudeness. Refusing the hospitality/gift/gesture of another. Denying him the blessing of giving. The glow of satisfaction of having given or offered something.

A miser is miserable out of his own choice. A generous person is, however, frustrated by, or appears to be victimized by a person who denies him the opportunity, the blessing, of giving. The English language is seriously compromised by the lack of a word for this, far more serious than miserly condition/behaviour. I invite readers to come up with a word which we can submit for formal integration into the English Language, for it is only when this condition is recognized and named that one can identify it and act upon it.

When you are offered something as a gift, do not in any way feel indebted or obligated to the giver, otherwise you will negate the spirit in which it was given, knowing that, some way, some how, the giver will certainly be rewarded.

There are obviously situations where to be in integrity you would not accept a gift, for instance a tobacco product or other narcotic if you are not a user, or a meat dish if you are a vegetarian. In this case you clarify that the intent of giving is fully accepted and appreciated.

There may also be situations where the offerer is secretly hoping you wont accept the offer. In this case accept it nonetheless as the onus of insincerity is his, not yours, and by accepting you are actually helping him become more honest and sincere.

However, the non accepting of gifts is not the only situation where one may be akatadhektos.  Another, less obvious situation is providing a service and not accepting payment, or accepting less than a market related price.

One such situation where this kind of akatadhetia is common is in the area of therapy and the healing arts.

Often the argument is posited that since the therapist has a ‘God given gift’, it should not be charged, or that only donations would be accepted. However, are the arts of good carpentry, designing, architecture, book keeping, sculpting, etc, and even housecleaning not also ‘God given’? Why charge unashamedly for ‘non healing gifts’ but not for ‘healing gifts’? I know of Spiro Atteshli, (known as Daskalos) since passed away, who was a great healer in Cyprus. He refused to charge for his work, and kept a full time post office job. Had he charged for his work, he would have been able to dedicate himself full time to his healing and thus benefited many times more people a lot more. In addition, he deprived someone else of an office job. So he lost, the world lost, and a job was lost.

Accepting gifts is thus a gift in turn for the offerer. Accepting payment for a service is the same principle.

In the former example the ‘reward’ comes both in the joy of giving and the certainty that what has been given will definitely be returned, many fold, though not necessarily (in fact very seldom) by the person to whom you have given. The universe, though endless, is a closed, self contained system. Jesus said, ‘Caste your bread upon the waters’. He didn’t say that God will reward the giver, or that the giver was ‘good’. He merely stated that it would be returned ‘7×7’ times over. That’s not a bad rate of return, is it? But this only happens when the giving is done unconditionally. If it is done for purposes of prestige, return favours or showing off, this principle no longer applies, as it is no longer giving but trading.

Paying (for a good or service provided) in Greek is pleeromee , derived from pleeris,=completion.

Thus, paying is the act of completing a transaction. The interchange of energy, on the one hand in the form of a good or service, and response usually in money, or possibly in exchange for another good or service. As we have not yet evolved to the state where the result(reward) of our feelings, thoughts and actions manifest immediately (it will come in the not too distant future), payment in money or in kind. Another vital factor is that healing may not be complete unless the healing session is complete, and that happens through payment.

Further, from my own experience, free is not appreciated as much, and therefore the good or service is not utilized properly. Note for those of you who want to provide a free talk or seminar. You will have many more people attending and hardly no cancellations or no shows if you charge a nominal amount. This then becomes a (completed) contractual obligation.

This lack of exchange and its concomitant problems has entered relationships and sexuality, with most problems in these areas coming from an imbalance in give and take.

In conclusion, we see that the ability to give and to receive are merely two sides to the same transaction, the same coin, so to speak. Giving is simultaneously an act of receiving, and in the same way, receiving is simultaneously giving another an opportunity to give.

It is relationship, or in other words, giving and receiving which is the basis of all life, microcosmic to macrocosmic, what makes ecosystems and societies work. If blocked or unhealthy, it leads to a system breakdown, but if flowing healthily leads to healthy functioning. For instance a healthy exchange with microbes (small life forms) is essential to our life as a macrobe (large life form), whereas an unhealthy exchange , i.e by person who is dis-eased will create an unhealthy relationship with the microbes, which are then mistakenly blamed as the cause of illness.

It is our openness to healthy exchange to freely give, and just as freely and willingly receive, which determines our wellbeing and that of those and our environment around us.

Apollo has just scheduled his first webinar – get the details now by visiting: Receiving is Giving Webinar Event

Apollo Pampallis is a Life Mentor and can be contacted on Apollo@discoveringthenow.com. He is establishing new web pages in an exciting new alliance. For ongoing information, upcoming webinars, consultations, ebooks and other news please contact him on the above email

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 9.1/10 (16 votes cast)
VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: +5 (from 9 votes)
What's Worse Than Being a Miser? by Apollo Pampallis, 9.1 out of 10 based on 16 ratings
Return to Home Page

16 Responses to “What’s Worse Than Being a Miser? by Apollo Pampallis”

  1. There is a lot of knowledge and insight in this article. If one were to really take it to heart, and change their ways where necessary to come into alignment with what is taught here, it would transform their life in countless ways and that person would bless the lives of others in countless ways. This is truly a beautiful and helpful piece.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 3.7/5 (3 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 3 votes)
  2. [...] Have you read Apollo’s latest article “What’s Worse than being a Miser“. [...]

  3. Minister says:

    [...] Have you read Apollo’s latest article “What’s Worse than being a Miser“. [...]
    +1

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  4. Delissa says:

    Great post Apollo! I like your point “Giving is simultaneously an act of receiving, and in the same way, receiving is simultaneously giving another an opportunity to give.” I live by the philosophy that giving is a gift you give to yourself. It’s immediate and it’s rewarding and a product of unconditional love. Thanks for your insights.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 5.0/5 (2 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  5. Tami says:

    Oh wow. My whole life I have been instinctively repulsed by people who do this but I’ve never intellectualized why. Reading this article shed light on my instincts. I also now realize that I am guilty of it as well in that I will not allow anyone to celebrate my birthday, not even my children. How that must hurt them, I feel ashamed. Luckily, that is the only area I do it, but it is admittedly horrible.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  6. bazel says:

    How right you are. Many good points in this article. Spreading or circulating joy is a two way street and both are required. I have a mother who is an akatadhekto, so I know first hand the effect this has on flow. The more I’ve observed this as an “awakenened adult”, the more I see how this shows up for all involved. There is a saying “how you do anything is how you do everything”. Let’s all be generous givers and receivers in all areas and watch the smiles grow and love flow.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  7. Leila says:

    Thanks Apollo for a touching article. I like the way you travel through many different parts of the idea of miserliness. I especially like the word akatadhetia and my English translation might be in Latin – something to do with hands and tears (maybe hold hand in Latin). Then, I like the way you describe how a healer could be paid and that could be part of the healing. It’s all good.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  8. Justin says:

    There IS a word in the English language … Graciousness … accepting something with both grace and gratitude. I’ll bet London to a brick that to realise the difference between mere “politeness”, statutory saying of “Thanks” “Good morning” etc, and “Courtesy”, then I think you’ll agree that,perhaps, in this current state of civilisation, Graciousness has been forgotten. Give someone a compliment, and just wonder how many times, under the guise of ‘modesty’, it’s rebuffed. Go ponder! Cheers, Justin.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  9. Melis says:

    See first that you yourself deserve to be a giver, and an instrument of giving.

    For in truth it is life that gives unto life – while you, who deem yourself a giver, are but a witness.

    And you receivers – and you are all receivers – assume no weight of gratitude, lest you lay a yoke upon yourself and upon him who gives.

    Rather rise together with the giver on his gifts as on wings;

    For to be overmindful of your debt, is to doubt his generosity who has the free-hearted earth for mother, and God for father.

    And Almitra says:
    speak to us….

    Speak of the pythagoreans.

    PS-My children would call an akatadhekto … a buzz killer

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  10. Lauren says:

    This is exactly what runs in my family; my sister is a great giver: of advice and things. In the first twenty years of my marriage, I would buy her something for her birthday and the first words out of her mouth were, “You didn’t have to do this. You can’t afford it.” Instead of feeling good inside, I felt angry. My aunt was the same way, giving and not allowing anyone else to give back.On the other side of the coin, they wanted all the satisfaction of giving…and taking what they wanted back like holding it over the giver’s head. Thank you so much for your insights. I finally told my sister how I felt and she backed off. The “graciousness” that Justin mentions is exactly what I’m speaking of instead of doing something for some return or obligation they want to exact from you.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  11. Gosh, sadly I’m surprised this article even got published as it is teaching us to judge others, rather than feel compassion and understanding.

    If someone is not able to accept a gift, please don’t create a word so we can categorise them for being “bad” in this way. Surely, it is more helpful just realise that they are, for whatever reason, unable to accept the gift from us and forgive them for their difficult situation. That reason is part of their personal journey and not for us to try to change.

    What I would have preferred to see here was how we can learn to love and accept others whatever their “misgivings”. If all we do is simply take the opportunity to criticise them for not accepting our gift, then this is our problem for not being able to deal with “rejection”. Our intention is still to do good; that has not changed and so we have created the energy in our thoughts; this is enough. If we get upset that someone is not able to partake in *our need* to show our generosity, then it is for us to deal with, not to label and consider a bad thing.

    The sooner we accept that the world is not bipolar (ie no right/wrong) and that there is a huge range of different situations/emotions/actions, etc that are simply to help us understand ourselves better, then the need to judge disappears.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 5.0/5 (2 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 3 votes)
  12. mary says:

    One of the best things to give, which doesn’t have to cost very much in terms of money, but rather time, is something you make yourself. I got two very precious gifts this Christmas. One was a handknit scarf from someone who lives in Mexico and struggles to make ends meet. It’s the perfect color and couldn’t be bought anywhere. Another favorite gift is a framed picture of my grandson; with the news that their family would be moving back here. Priceless! It’s the gift of self in one way or another that is so precious.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  13. joy says:

    That is very true.So,if you have resentment after giving something for one person(ex;love,money,time etc..)you are blocking the flow.Sometimes,we want the same person to give it back to us especially in relationship but if you wait for what you had given you will just feel frustrated because we must give love or anything we could give unconditionally….
    And that takes a mighty heart.In the end,it will go back to you sevenfold.So,give from the heart and take with a real appreciation.:)

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  14. joy says:

    I am a giver…most of the time people around me canot understand why i am like this.They think i am not considering my own needs and i am too nice.What they do not know is the great feeling i am experiencing everytime i gave a time,gift or love to someone…it is infinite happiness to see that you make someone happy in your little way of generosity.It could be a simple “hello”or a smile in your face whenever you are dealing with someone especially those who are hard to deal with.Trust me,i feel like a hero. :)

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  15. Thank you all for your feedback. I invite you all to join me on the webinar on Thursday which will be on at 17.00h, GMT or 12.00 U.S Eastern time.I shall happily respond personally to all your comments above and to questions submitted.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  16. My father was a poor tailor from Europe. He spent very little on me his only child (daughter), he never married my mother, there was 25 years difference in their ages. He never gave her money but told her to get a menial job as a house cleaner or helper for him. She had no real education. She abandoned us when I was little. I only wore hand me-downs because neighbors thought I was an orphan. I slept on a very old mattress with no stuffing, flat as a board, as well as he. We lived in an old slum tenement, 4th floor walk-up in NYC. Even during harsh winters I went without gloves, hat, was small, sickly, never had medical or dental care, no furniture, no friends, a lonely childhood isolated childhood He was all I had – no relatives in this country. When he became old and could not work. hee would not sign up for Medicare or Medicaid. Refused to see anyone from the City Agencies, didn’t believe in doctor. He just lay in bed all day – I worked since I got out of school and paid the rent and bought food for him. He demanded I give up my job and stay with him – I refused!
    He offered to pay me – I refused! The day before he died – pleadingly he said I could have all his money that he had saved for years. I became so enraged and let all my grievances about his choosing such a mother for me – calling me “an accident” and saying “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!” and that I was “mean” – that cut me to the core and I told him “I have my OWN MONEY!” The next day I found him dead. I hated him so much, I would not give him the satisfaction of accepting anything from him. I think that hurt him the most. The only thing in life that he valued was his money.
    It haunts me to this day how cruel I was. Does anyone have any comments to help!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

Leave a Reply

© Copyright 2013 EvolutionEzine.com. All rights reserved. mind power mp3